My wife is pretty good at giving sex when I want. I have low testosterone, probably due to a porn addiction (at least in part), so "what I want" is less frequent then when I initiate just to keep things regular. If it's not after midnight, or if she hasn't already fallen asleep, then she's down.

She has recently decided that she wants another kid, which, in general, I'm a proponent of. We've gotten into this habit of me getting her off by hand and then her climbing on top. I'm fine with it, it takes about five minutes to get her off a couple times, then my work is done.

However, this time we forgot a towel. So after she got off she told me to go get it. I said nah, you go get it. She said no you go get it and I said nope. She said ok I said k and we rolled over and "went to sleep", though obviously I got up about an hour later to post this.

I need help analyzing what happened here. Possible solutions:

  1. She had gotten hers, and this was an easy way not to have to put out. (I doubt this, but it occurred to me).

  2. It pissed her off that I wouldn't do that one thing, so she just checked out.

  3. It was some kind of comfort or shit test that I passed or failed.

What was going through my mind when she said go get it was "I don't feel like doing that, I just did my work, now you do yours". What is going through my mind now is that basically she withheld sex after she got what she wanted unless I was going to go on some quest for her first.

What do you all think?

Edit: Something else going through my head is my dad's frequent admonition that being right isn't what's important in a marriage...and somehow I wonder 1. if he's right, and 2. if I was just being stubborn/lazy and stubborn/lazyed myself out of sex for the night, without having a good principle to stand on.

Edit 2: also, what do I do in the morning? Freeze out? Act like everything is OK? Tell her that withholding sex like that isn't OK?

Edit 3: thanks for all the feedback on what happened. What do I do going forward? This morning she left for the gym early (not abnormal) and we haven't talked yet.