Taking The Power Back (A Challenging Situation)

refusewool · 2017-05-09T21:30:36+00:00

Dread is the answer. Search for the 12 steps of dread in the main sub.

SkorchZang · 2017-05-10T07:16:14+00:00

Always hold 10% -20% of yourself back, as a kind of mobile reserve. You will be there and take care of her, of course. But it's never your 100% and she should semi-unconsciously feel that.

There's always that pesky 10% that you hold back, that allows you to be cheeky with her. To tease her about silly shit she does, in a devil-may-care way that a compliant beta never could.

It should feel like you're there with her and the kid, but you also have a secret, deeper life somewhere just outside of her reach, and this secret deeper life in no way depends on her, nor answers to her, ever. You want her somewhat confused about this aspect of you, and curious: on the one hand it seems to be the core of your worldly power, career wise and so on, yet on the other hand she can get no access to IT ALL with you, which a woman badly wants. This is a good thing, a little frustration like this goes a long way to prop up longterm happiness for a woman.

Her focus will shift brutally from you to the baby, so you will need this "10% of independence" even for your own happiness and sanity, so when the going gets tough, you never come apart or get whiny.

ThePwnter · 2017-05-10T16:33:22+00:00

What others have said should work, but also keep in mind that during pregnancy her mind is not necessarily her own. She's under the control of huge changes in her body, including major hormonal and vitamin shifting. Some of her waning interest may in fact be totally unrelated to your typical AF/BB mantras, and more a symptom of biological changes. While you should always apply the trp mindset, be careful not to be too overbearing during these 9 months.

mrthaumaturgy · 2017-05-10T16:48:47+00:00

Thanks guys. This is really helpful. I'm realizing that I let a lot of the principles that you recommend slip after being in a long term relationship and I'm learning that it's very important to maintain some of them.

Title	Taking The Power Back (A Challenging Situation)
Author	mrthaumaturgy
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	May 9, 2017 9:14 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6a8c1e/taking_the_power_back_a_challenging_situation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/taking-the-power-back-a-challenging-situation.90863 https://theredarchive.com/post/90863

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