Things going too fast?

recursoinominado · 2017-10-20T15:16:17+00:00

It's oneitis, dude. Never LTR a girl in less than 6 months to a year, plate her, you don't even know this girl yet, you only see her good side. Don't talk about your relationship, don't imply exclusivety, if she brings that shit up, just defuse and change the topic fast, if she really insists, tell her you really like her but you aren't ready yet to a serious relationship, you need to get to know her more, etc.

About the birthday, it depends what type of party it is, a general advice is to not go or go with some friends, drink, socialize, have a good time, don't kiss her in front of her family. But It all depends, my last gf I plated for almost 1 years, I met her family, slept on her house with her family several times, her mother loved me, way before we get into a LTR and everyone knew that. You can reframe and get way with almost everything if you play your cards right.

SkorchZang · 2017-10-20T16:32:33+00:00

Ha! Yeah I would like it to be in that same spot too. Preferably forever. Damn it's hard to keep it there for any real length of time, though. It's the best and the worst of every relationshit. Dig your heels in and let her drag you kicking and screaming into what she wants, because you know it's going to happen, especially if you already love this girl to bits.

Patrice's hilarious take on it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KzCfIYArmQ

MattyAnon · 2017-10-20T19:02:49+00:00

i feel like things are going too fast. I want it to be in the same spot like we are now: we see each other, we do fun things, we fuck, we go home.

Right, this is perfect.

She kind of stated she would like me to be hers or something like that, i just told her "dont you enjoy what we have now?" She never ask about other girls or stuff i do without her so i guess she is okay about this

You have to be clear, but not direct.

No future promises, don't let her set up expectations
At least half the time have no future plans to see each other (this is hard and requires you to be vague when she asks). [I'm writing a post about specifically this]

She is getting comfy with me. I am getting comfy with her. Recently she invited me to her birthday party, with her friends and family

Read again what you wrote, and ask yourself "how is this consistent with getting what I want".

Read the sidebar article about handling "the talk", even if she's not directly asking.

If you manage things well, you can stay fuckbuddies for a while. If you allow commitment to start, she'll demand more, then you'll leave, and it will be faster and messier than if you maintain fuckbuddy frame.

Another problem is these things are bothering me but at the same time i want more.

You want more? You just said you want things to be "in the same spot like we are now". Make up your mind about what you want, and act consistently with that.

And most important, how do i deal with myself?

This is the right question.

Whatever happens, always keep your options open both to leave, and to fuck other women. Even if you don't. Keep that option open and a realistic possibility at all times.

At the moment, keep fucking other women. Then make it as easy as possible do that. Don't lie to her, but you don't have to be overt either. Be unavailable sometimes (because you are fucking other women). Don't lie to yourself. Don't drift into defacto monogamy unless you want that and can handle that.

gerend24 · 2017-10-20T15:44:12+00:00

you should buy her flowers and do a LTR.

don’t believe all this crazy talk about unicorns not existing and awalt etc

we need betas ltring these hoes while we slay them in ONS it’s less competition for me if we didn’t have betas like you giving there time energy and attention to this one girl while she bangs chads in ons we’d have more competition

Title	Things going too fast?
Author	Dronitto
Upvotes	14
Comments	16
Date	October 20, 2017 10:03 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/77l578/things_going_too_fast/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/things-going-too-fast.116630 https://theredarchive.com/post/116630

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