Thoughts on cheating on LTRs

youcantdenythat · 2016-08-08T12:24:54+00:00

Cheating itself isn't really beta or alpha. People say that lying and trying to hide things is beta. Then others go dark triad which promotes lying and hiding things.

I don't think someone resents another because there is a higher SMV candidate. They really resent themselves for settling for someone lower. That's why we should never settle.

TopTRP · 2016-08-08T12:49:42+00:00

We often say here that cheating is beta because it implies that you're locked to a LTR with a woman that doesn't fulfill your needs

That statement goes against the male biological imperative.

Men are programmed to spread their seed regardless of whether or not their needs are met.

If anything, you should criticize their lack of willpower, in the case where a guy commits to a women and doesn't "want" to cheat, but can't control his own urges so he falters.

That's very different than a dark triad man who never intends to stay faithful in the first place.

Now that that's out of the way.

I'm not going to get into morality but I don't think physically cheating every so often is bad. As I said, that's what satisfies your biology.

Men also have a very easy time separating the physical act of sex from the emotional (which women don't).

That's why high SMV men go to prostitutes, or bang groupies while on the road.

There is zero emotional attachment involved, just need to slam some vag.

aurelius_shrugs · 2016-08-08T15:19:30+00:00

The problem with an LTR is women are constantly being approached. Their sexual strategy never stops looking for the upgrade on a primal level.

If you do not make a conscious effort to find other women, you are losing in a fundamental sense. Cheating is the best thing you can do for your relationship.

[deleted] · 2016-08-08T12:41:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

EdvardMunch · 2016-08-08T14:41:45+00:00

That thinking is flawed as cheating might simply come from sex addiction which has nothing to do with SMV but kinks and highs.

A problem I can see with LTR is that if you're always improving yourself and they aren't, you might feel like you've settled later on.

I'm with a girl who is going to the gym with me and even though she looks good I know that in time she'll look really good. So all this stuff doesn't make it so simple. If you're locked in with someone you don't want to be with then yeah I guess that's beta or just not a good idea period.

Coltron778 · 2016-08-08T18:06:07+00:00

It's like people don't understand why a man would go in a ltr:

-You feel attracted to her.

-You trade sexual validation for emotional validation.

-You enjoy her companionship

Cheating is bad because men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Walking away from the gate to court other keys lowers you protector/provider(beta) value.

Women cheating is bad because infidelity leads to genetic peril, if she has a child you have to be sure it is yours and thus are biologically successful.

As the gatekeepers of sexual validation(not just sex) when the women walks away from the gate to court keys she lowers the value of her sexual validation. That which is given freely has less worth.

This is the modern model for ltr. The old ways are dead. Having a career and money are not enough. Women don't need you, conversely you don't need them. Recognizing the new social theory between sexes, and acting on is the core of trp.

tl;dr Cheating is bad for a ltr because it undermines the social mechanic in the interaction.

RedAsBlood · 2016-08-09T04:32:36+00:00

Why stay in an LTR if you are unhappy?

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2016-08-09T10:17:45+00:00

If your LTR starts turning down sex, or starfishing, you're already heavily on the slippery slope of beta bux. You've heavily lost frame on multiple occasions. Either have the balls to hard next, quoting intimacy incompatibility, or else demand an open relationship.

IMHO you shouldn't have to lie to fuck other women. If your sex life is boring the first guy you need to blame is the man in the mirror. You should just flat out demand a threesome, and strongly hint you have another woman already in mind. If your LTR doesn't agree, that a good indication of her level of regard and emotional investment for you.

Personally I'd have a hard time dealing with the guilt and cognitive dissonance. I know other people's opinion may differ. Hiding an affair in an LTR is a lot of fucking work with a reasonably high risk of getting caught. (A lot of people delude themselves into thinking they're too smart to get caught.) In that case the shit storm will probably heavily outweigh the illicit fun you might have had. You become the bad dude to a lot of your family+ social circle.

So if you do it, be sure to get your financial ducks in a fucking row. Be prepared to hard next both your LTR and your plate.

I feel like despite your obvious ability to pull other women, most women on the receiving end will see it as a heavily beta/creepy move. I.e. you didn't have the balls to demand positive action, or else DGAF and GTFO.

Title	Thoughts on cheating on LTRs
Author	quicklogaccount
Upvotes	2
Comments	16
Date	August 8, 2016 12:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4wpsce/thoughts_on_cheating_on_ltrs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/thoughts-on-cheating-on-ltrs.109434 https://theredarchive.com/post/109434

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