uncle is beta, should i help?

fnordsnord · 2015-05-08T19:59:32+00:00

In a word, no. Not unless he is ASKING for advice, and asking for it from YOU.

There is no way to give advice to someone without implying or flat out saying "you're doing it wrong."

And very few people appreciate this. All you're going to do is piss him off. And possibly his wife and your mom.

throw_em_all · 2015-05-08T19:37:44+00:00

Usually I don't give advise to people that is older than me, no matter if they're not old themselves, because even if you have more experience or knowledge and they know it, still takes a very very humble and down to earth person to acknowledge that and accept the advise.

If they ask for it, well that's totally different, then I would give advise, but slowly, nothing too direct that could hurt someone's feelings or pride.

Code_Bordeauxx · 2015-05-08T20:07:16+00:00

Never, NEVER EVER, give lifestyle advice to anyone who isn't asking for it specifically. I know it will be hard, I know you want to help, but it will only backfire and nothing will change.

spoetnick · 2015-05-08T19:44:46+00:00

Before you go out and give your uncle advice, you should make damn sure he wants your advice. Does he see you as a person to give him relationship advice? Does he take your seriously enough for this, does he think you are credible on the lifestyle/relationship front?

I'm under the impression that most BB's don't want to get help. If they do want help, they don't want the sort of help TRP offers.

Swallowing the pill can be quite a change in your life. If you don't honestly and absolutely want to change, it won't happen. Do you think your uncle is at this level? If he's hardcore BB enough, the entire thing can back-fire. There are enough stories like that here on TRP. Before you know it you are the misogynist trying to ruin his relationship.

I don't have close bonds with my family, so personally i wouldn't get involved unless there was something for me to get out of. Is it worth your time? Do the benefits outweigh the cost?

Good luck man

machimus · 2015-05-09T01:44:55+00:00

Frigid Woman Game antithesis.

EnterPseudonym · 2015-05-09T01:52:05+00:00

A person can only change themselves if they want to change. If he asks for advice, give it, but do not become upset when he doesn't follow it.

Title	uncle is beta, should i help?
Author	Loopholeinwhiskey
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	May 8, 2015 7:28 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/35bmj8/uncle_is_beta_should_i_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/uncle-is-beta-should-i-help.148770 https://theredarchive.com/post/148770

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