Urgent! Need advice

MattyAnon · 2017-06-02T23:45:54+00:00

However, after reading it she got pissed and sent me two sarcastic remarks about the convo.

ignore.

I called her a lot of times and then texted her that she should pick up and let us talk about it and that I ain't done anything wrong or such.

weak. now she's winning. she will LOVE the drama and attention. she's got you on the back foot. she'll milk this for all she can.

In the morning I texted her good morning and all and she replied an hour later. Then I tried calling but she didn't pick up as well. Then we texted for a couple of minutes and she said she ain't concerned with whatever I'm saying so I replied when you're concerned then hit me up.

"Not concerned with what you're saying" is a good reason not to be involved with her. Not behaving like a girlfriend = not going to be girlfriend for long.

So I agreed and amplified and sent her more of the same emojis.

correct response is ignore, ignore, ignore.

withdrawal of attention = girl will feel regret and remorse.

In future say "I'm disappointed you are doing this" AND THEN IGNORE. Literally respond to NOTHING until the apology comes.

She's being shitty and you're proving she can get away with it.

So my question here to fellow TRP do I call her again and assert my dominance

Assert your dominance??? You mean assert that you're a needy little bitch.

nd how that shit she's doing is unacceptable and lay some boundaries?

You lay the boundary by saying "this is unacceptable" and then NOT TALKING TO HER.

Especially because I told her before I get mad pissed that she ignores or doesn't reply.

weak, reactive.

Look - you can't handle this girl, that's the truth of it. You're being disrespected and beta'd and you are on here asking for advice on HOW TO MAKE THIS WORK. Can you see the issue here? She's being a shitty gf, you are are TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK WITH HER. You see the imbalance here?

You fix this by NOT trying to make it work. She steps out of line, you DEMOTE her. You IGNORE her. You do the opposite of trying to make it work. Her mental abuse of you must directly translate into doubt, erosion and reduction of your attention commitment IN A WAY THAT SHE CAN FEEL.

Instead your response is "I am beta, please can I be a bit more beta for you, oh Princess". Get a fucking grip.

quicklogaccount · 2017-06-02T18:26:32+00:00

You can't act on "educating" a girl to fit you. What you do is laying the boundaries and if they're challenged, as she did in ghosting you when you had told her you dislike it, you detach. Don't bother her, get busy with something else. Call your bros and hang out, tell her you'll hanging with them tonight and you can talk tomorrow if she feels like it.

It's pretty simple. If you act on punishing or educating her, it means you will not leave because of that trespassing. If you will not leave because of that, she has nothing to worry about and can keep testing the boundaries.

So basically what you DO now is telling her you'll be meeting your friends tonight and won't be able to talk, but you'll call her tomorrow.

By the way, don't ever say shit like "when you do X I get pissed/hurt". Tell her "I dislike people that do X". Don't tell her something she does gets a bad emotional reaction out of you, this is the book definition of failing a shit test, you're literally telling her which shit tests you fail and asking her not to do them. It's remarkably low value.
If you just tell her you dislike people who do something, if she does it you simply get away and she'll know she has to qualify herself should she want to keep the relationship.

Tiway22 · 2017-06-02T18:06:57+00:00

You cant chase her like that - especially when you did nothing wrong.

Back off for a few days and hang with some bros or do some cool shit without her.

She'll be back.

SkimSTi · 2017-06-02T18:34:28+00:00

dude. STOP chasing this girl... go re-read your post a few times.

"i called her a lot of times after she didnt respond to my text"...

"In the morning I texted her good morning and all and she replied an hour later. Then I tried calling but she didn't pick up as well."

are you serious? WTF is this shit...

this woman is trying to HELP YOU OUT... she flat out told you, 'I don't want to talk / I don't feel like talking to you now'...... so you fucking stop. end of story. wait for her to get her shit together to talk about it. even if its a day. a week. a month... she asked for space. begging her to talk to you will only make the situation worse... jesus christ.

women are like cats. you have to let them roam........ have you ever tried picking up a cat that doesnt want to be touched? they will RUN away further and faster........ so good luck. this is no different.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-02T18:31:54+00:00

You tell into her frame by showing her the messages and trying to explain yourself.

Title	Urgent! Need advice
Author	hktrp
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	June 2, 2017 6:03 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6ew1tq/urgent_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/urgent-need-advice.92014 https://theredarchive.com/post/92014

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