Using alcohol as a crutch

kingofpoplives · 2015-06-29T14:12:32+00:00

I think I use alcohol to mask my insecurities and to numb my fear of rejection.

If you find yourself drinking in order to numb emotional pain, that is a pattern that needs to be broken. You may need to quit completely for an extended period and address the underlying issues to fully break this habit.

One thing that was helpful to me was disconnecting dating from alcohol for a while. I quit drinking completely, but still wanted to meet women, so I got into online dating and took women on coffee dates, hikes, casual dinners, etc. It's definitely a bit tougher to do without alcohol, but once you get decent at doing this you know that alcohol is not necessary to attract women.

What's your take on alcohol? I'm thinking in keep the drinking to a minimum level. Any tips how to do it?

Personally, I don't like to ever drink any more than 3-4 drinks in a single day. At that level, I feel like enjoyment is maximized and there isn't much of a hangover. It's easier said than done though, especially if you have a binge drinking habit. I struggled with that a for a long time. Really the thing that finally changed is that I started to dislike the feeling of being very drunk.

Quitting for a long time to break all patterns wast the most helpful thing I did, and also being sure to "dry out" for a few days after every weekend of drinking by not drinking at all. This is good because it breaks the chemical dependency so you aren't craving alcohol.

Which mindset do you use to deal with rejection? How do you deal with the embarrassment?

This is just inner neediness you need to face and work through. It takes time, experience, and a lot of deep introspection.

ToshiroOzuwara · 2015-06-29T21:46:57+00:00

I'm thinking in keep the drinking to a minimum level. Any tips how to do it?

You can't even have one. You have poor self control.

Which mindset do you use to deal with rejection?

Next.

I immediately assume I'm not good looking enough.

Serious question, do you lift? I am guessing no, because you're hung up on your looks and you're a drunk.

How did you get better in interacting with strangers?

Practice. Put the work in.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-06-29T14:28:30+00:00

Just use the alcohol to loosen up and do your thing. After awhile you'll become used to the interpersonal milieu and you probably won't need it anymore.

As with anything, if it becomes a problem, ditch it.

BinglesTRP · 2015-06-29T14:48:26+00:00

One to two drinks, period.

I'm too dedicated to my workouts and personal growth to drink. If I do - It's very light. I'm definitely not pounding back pitchers with the squad 4 nights a week. That's how you craft the ultimate beta bod to match your sloppy drunk personality.

A single drink is so I can have something in my hand. Remember - There are no shortcuts in life, especially if you're on the RP path. Crutches are for cripples, and your goal is to be the Rock of Gibraltar.

To answer your questions: I'll do any game I can. Social groups, one-on-one, whatever. Like I said - I get one drink. If she starts giving me shit for not drinking it fast enough, I'll employ AM, and/or mentally next her, as I don't like sloppy bitches. (Second option takes me to the Mount Olympus of outcome independence, as I mentally believe she's wasting my time at this point).

Rejection? Good. Who gives a shit. Life is too short to care about some woman saying I'm not good enough. It could be for a million reasons, and none of which do I actually care about. The only way I "Lose" in a rejection scenario is if I break frame and get upset. (Happens at first to everyone, but your psyche will grow along with you - This will stop).

Strangers: I talk to them. People are naturally attracted to my personality, so it helps that they TRY SO HARD to be my "Temporary best friend". I don't abuse this from a manipulative angle, I do enjoy interacting with new people and expanding my network.

suloco · 2015-06-29T13:37:00+00:00

I can understand dependence since I smoke weed erryday (of course that is not comparable with daily binge drinking but still...) and one thing I learned is: controlled consumption is hard as fuck. On the other hand, quitting altogether is much easier goal. Zero tolerance is much more maintainable.

Try a month of sober parties and go zero tolerance. Just re-frame the whole experience and learn to do it clean. Then, you can debrief yourself (make sure to follow up on TRP), analyze and maybe work on limiting your consumption to say, three drinks a night. By then you should be able to disconnect your success with alcohol consumption.

Even if you won't score at all, even if you'll be dry as hell, don't go back until the month ends.

This is a good thing to focus on and make sure to work on it hard. I've got a friend who cannot dance with chicks or muster up the confidence to approach them unless he's on E. And lemme tell you it ain't a nice sight to see (even though he scored that one time - yaay!).

Good luck, man.

Title	Using alcohol as a crutch
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	14
Date	June 29, 2015 11:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3bhz9g/using_alcohol_as_a_crutch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/using-alcohol-as-a-crutch.150586 https://theredarchive.com/post/150586

Comments