What's wrong with (almost) always paying?

mrust · 2014-04-14T23:34:31+00:00

Women will categorise you based on whether you fit the provider role.

If you fit the provider role:

She will make you wait longer for sex
Sex will become transactional
She will have more expectations for how you should act

The objective of not paying is to avoid being perceived as a provider (or worse, a chump who is not worthy of sex at all). Since you happily accept your provider role, there is no reason not to pay.

sixtysecondmonk · 2014-04-14T22:45:26+00:00

The key in your case is that, "she knows her role and performs it with flying colors". If that's the case then there's little to no problem with you providing for her.

It's when you're not getting what you want out of the relationship that it turns into 'beta bux'.

projectself · 2014-04-14T23:58:34+00:00

you should pay when you want to, you are showing that you can provide, which is a masculine trait. women are security seeking creatures. period, end of story.

what you should not do is be the guy who feels he is obligated to pay, and pays for shit he doesn't want to do to make someone else happy. or pays for things in hopes of getting validation from someone for it. stressing about getting the "right" restaurant, or best gift is crap.

when you first start dating, pay for some, dutch for some. no gifts, no travels for 3 months. drinks, dinner who gives shit as long as you are having fun?

raceAround126 · 2014-04-15T13:04:57+00:00

I would make sure and go dutch. Trp is very correct on this stance.

My girl and I go halved on most things. I've only once paid out for something for is to do together as she doesn't have much cash. Lets say she still appreciated it.

Meglomaniac · 2014-04-14T23:01:54+00:00

The thing is that for most people paying at least initially sets off your "pushover" and "beta" signals for a woman.

Title	What's wrong with (almost) always paying?
Author	peacewhale
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	April 14, 2014 9:42 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/231fpx/whats_wrong_with_almost_always_paying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/whats-wrong-with-almost-always-paying.139375 https://theredarchive.com/post/139375

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