Why this approach anxiety?

PragmaticRedTruth · 2016-08-15T10:24:41+00:00

You're way to worried about what their reaction could be.

More importantly, YOU'RE way too worried you're going to screw up.

This is what anxiety is, predicting into the future and fixating on the "what ifs."

Your ego is protecting itself, it tries to show you possible outcomes. It feels like there is a force field preventing you from doing what you want.

For starters, get yourself in a good mode. Go out and do some HIIT or lift. Get your calories in... then, meditate. Then go out with the intention to talk to some new women and people in general.

Now, you'll break the ice and start opening chicks. All whilst in a good mood. It will prove that it's not so hard and rejection isn't so bad. You'll be very relaxed and sort of going with the flow due to the exercise and meditation. More outcome independent.

After you show yourself this one time, you'll feel better, you'll let go. There isn't anything to worry about, my friend... they're people just like you and I. All you are doing is talking to them. The worst case scenario, you get laughed off the bus or out of the room you're in. If that happens, and it's really that bad, message me, I'll give you my address, and a gun so you can shoot me.

SkorchZang · 2016-08-12T09:07:31+00:00

Got a good tip for you, completely solves the problem. But you need to do something for an entire 30 days to get there. Are you willing to put in the work for 30 days?

If the answer is yes, then here's the deal. You forget about "that one girl you're attracted to", for now. For 30 days straight, you force yourself to "open" random people every single day. Like it's mandatory, like you get paid to do it. Girls you're not in the least attracted to. Old ladies. Other men. Everyone you happen to conveniently come across during your day, make a point of striking up some kind of lame convo. I don't care how lame it is, or if it only lasts for 3 words. If you did it, you're kicking ass.

New day, new openers. Do your duty, no matter what. If you're sick and in the hospital bed, open doctors and nurses. Introduce yourself to the cleaning lady. You get the idea. You don't stop, determined like a primordial hunter. Do at least one opener EVERY DAY, that much is mandatory, and then add more openers if you feel like it. The next day, again one madatory opener, more if you feel like it.

You will only need to do this for 30 days, not forever and ever. At the end of that time you can stop pushing yourself that much. But you will discover, if you put in the 30 days, that you now formed a new habit - the habit of talking to anyone you want to with no second thoughts. That's exactly what you need to open pretty girls sat next to you on the bus with almost no anxiety. Bust ass to put in your 30 days, and after that you can maintain the very useful habit with much less effort, it'll feel so natural you'll wonder how did you ever have problems with it to begin with & start advising your friends that it's no big deal, they should "just go for it". Ha! Just don't tell them the 30 days thing, and watch them fail miserably.

jeezydasnowman · 2016-08-12T02:32:18+00:00

It is difficult. First there's the 3 second rule - if you don't approach within that first 3 seconds you're doomed to ride the bus in silence and self-loathing. Second there's the fear of rejection - what if she turns you down then you're stuck with awkward silence the whole ride. Finally there's the belief that approaching is wrong/desperate and that everyone will notice you trying to talk to a girl and be disgusted.

Overcome these preconceived notion not by thinking, but by BECOMING the prize. Lift. Learn through rsd videos and practice. Approach Approach Approach. Lift Lift Lift. Study, Practice, Study, Practice. Pickup requires constant work but it's not really work, especially when you start getting laid multiple times a week.

Its-a-TRP · 2016-08-12T15:58:08+00:00

Something I realized that may help:

You're already in the worst-case scenario by not talking to her.

You don't know her, she doesn't know you, so if you talk to her and she rejects you, you'll both go your separate ways and never see each other again. The big realization is that this is the exact situation you're creating by not talking to her at all. If you sit there and don't talk to her, guess what happens? You both go your separate ways and likely don't see each other again. Same result.

So by not approaching, you're doing the rejection for her. The end result is exactly the same. If you do approach, you've given yourself (and her) the opportunity to not be rejected. Since you're already in the worst-case scenario by not approaching, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply talking to her.

Title	Why this approach anxiety?
Author	ene1
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	August 12, 2016 1:14 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4xb1nk/why_this_approach_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-this-approach-anxiety.109609 https://theredarchive.com/post/109609

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