Wtf is happening?

vandaalen · 2015-01-16T21:09:40+00:00

I don't understand the link between not having a telephone and freezing in social situations.

If you don't have phone, go and buy one for 30$ with a prepaid-card.

Fuck facebook.

Today I asked a girl to change two dimes and a nickle to a quarter and she gave me a smile and said "Only if you tell me a joke :)"

So you are attractive enough, that girls will start shit-testing you as soon as you meet for the very first time? Not bad.

tepper2 · 2015-01-16T21:12:34+00:00

Being socially adept is one of those things that you can only learn by being social. The more you do it, the better you get at conversation. There's nothing more to it than just engaging everybody you run into. You suck at it now, but it's something you need to constantly improve just like everything else.

Treat it like the gym. You gym every weekday, try to engage somebody in conversation at least once a day. Conversation is a skill that you only improve by doing.

robotghow · 2015-01-16T21:56:27+00:00

Her: Tell me a joke!

You: Okay, say "knock knock"

Her: knock knock

You: Who's there?

Her: ...

You: .. Don't worry you'll do better next time

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-01-16T21:14:12+00:00

You're probably thinking to hard about what to say. Just say whatever comes to mind and know that it has value because you said it. Say it with confidence and don't worry about if it's "good enough". Girls will find the dumbest jokes funny if you own it and they're attracted to you. Practice making small talk with everyone you talk to.

Another thing you might consider is taking an improv comedy class. Most cities have them.

fnordsnord · 2015-01-16T21:33:23+00:00

Get a phone. Nothing cuts your throat faster in the current dating market that not having a phone.

If you can't afford a smartphone, get a prepaid cheapie, but have SOMETHING.

As to what you say: say the first lame ass thing that pops into your head. Because you need practice. It's probably going to be lame. So what? You need to build up some callouses on your feels.

trpadawan · 2015-01-17T00:06:19+00:00

If you feel awkward talking to someone, it's because you subconsciously feel inferior to them. That's a beta tendency. Remind yourself that they have to prove their worth to you, not the other way around.

cos_2 · 2015-01-17T05:17:48+00:00

coffee

Coffee isn't bad for you and actually is pretty good for you if you're intending to work out. Like many other things demonized in modern culture, the reality is that it isn't what you do that matters, but how you do it. Its like the people insisting cigarettes are terrible for you based on the evidence of a man who is so entirely unable to control himself that he's smoking a pack a day. Well no shit. Coffee isn't bad for you but when you drink so much that you're practically bleeding it, or it starts impacting your sleep schedule, then there's a problem.

Not only that I don't have a phone at the moment so I can't number close.

Get a fucking phone, even if it's some geriatric Jitterbug phone. I honestly don't know how you can not have a phone. Even Obama's giving them away because of how important they are.

social awkwardness

Well, when you love it enough to give it a name, of course you're going to have that albatross hanging over you.

Physist · 2015-01-17T01:36:03+00:00

Look up RSD videos on self amusement.

john-b · 2015-01-17T05:19:45+00:00

Being approached or having openers being spoken to you should boost your confidence. Maintain abundance mentality. Your fear of saying the wrong thing and not getting the girl is causing your lack of action.

Read sidebar. Think of things they have said to you and come up with things you couuld have said after the fact. It will give you rough ideas on how to deal with common shit-tests in the future. Once you've dealt with small shit tests you'll be passing them from muscle memory. You can then move on to conquering & recognizing even bigger shit tests etc.

RP-on-AF1 · 2015-01-17T07:44:28+00:00

It takes time and practice to break bad habits and build skills. Simple as that.

NotKevinS · 2015-01-17T10:07:29+00:00

Dude. You've gotten some good advice here. Read it well.

I wanted to expand on what /u/tepper2 said.

You gotta be proactive about this.

Go out to bars and talk to people. Say hi, comment on something happening (say, a football game, or something funny), and take it from there.

Rambling, when used correctly, can be a good skill. Some people just need some time to warm up to you.

At the same time, take notes on what works and what doesn't. Notice the body language of people who are receptive to you, and those who aren't.

Wherever you go, there'll be people who just don't want to talk, or people who just aren't open to you.

This is OK.

But learn to recognize the tells, this way, you won't waste time with them.

And learn to do the same with girls. Look up "screening" and "hardcore lesson sexual availability". Good Looking Loser has written a lot about this.

Bottom line: go talk to people. Bars are easier than grocery stores or public transport. At least, they were for me. But when I was younger, and couldn't go to bars, I made do with what I had and overcame my anxiety that way.

Oh, and watch some comedy. Anthony Jeselnik, Jim Norton, Jim Jefferies, Louis CK, Daniel Tosh, Mitch Hedberg, KT Tatara, George Carlin, Chris D'Elia, Chad Daniels, etc.

IllimitableMan is right. It helps.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-01-17T19:06:29+00:00

Get google voice dude, it's free.

Use reverse psychology. Keep pushing a girl until you find the deal breaker.

srqrox · 2015-01-17T03:49:25+00:00

One: Never actually act on whatever a woman tells you to do, be playful, say something which aligns with the overall mood.

Two: Approach, approach, approach - or be approached, whatever results in most interactions out of the two is fine. Putting yourself out there will teach you more than anything else.

Three: Only way of eliminating social anxiety is (again) to put yourself out there unless you don't get into situations where you have to make spur of the moment decisions there is no way you'd be able to make spur of the moment decisions ever.

Four: Learn to play with emotions, give women highs and lows, learn story telling, if you can, get into improvisation classes. Do stand up comedy whatever just put yourself out there.

Hamilton5M · 2015-01-16T23:26:31+00:00

Ugly chick.

Find one, date her and get used to being around a woman. Ugly chicks will tolerate your fuckups.

Learn how to talk to women
Learn how to kiss well
Learn how to fuck well

all can be accomplished with a friendly and willing fat or ugly girl.

Women who know they are a 2/10 are grateful for attention and will be very attentive to your needs to the point of needing to refuse gifts.

f43a97 · 2015-01-17T00:55:26+00:00

Tell me a joke

Title	Wtf is happening?
Author	casdlj2312
Upvotes	11
Comments	30
Date	January 16, 2015 9:01 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2so1t3/wtf_is_happening/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/wtf-is-happening.145346 https://theredarchive.com/post/145346

Comments