Hello /r/asktrp

First of all, thank you for your help with my past situations as well as so many others that have given answers on a wide variety of topics. Truly a great community here.

I had a question on the topic of "you pressured me" or "I don't like being pressured."

After getting out of a rut that I got into a few weeks ago (a touch of ONEitis), I got back on the horse and went out there. I managed to sparkle again and found myself bedded with a HB8. It was pretty great (couldn't believe I'd be in bed with someone like this before TRP). Anyhow, my game was spectacular and we ended up back at my house. Things were flirty all night long, but the moment of truth was coming, so on my steps I asked her; "you want to kiss me, right?"

She responds, "a little bit, yeah." And we make out. This continues inside the house. We are sitting on my couch. I tell her to take my glasses off. She does. I tell her to kiss me. She does. I tell her to straddle my lap. She does. Then I say we should go up to my bedroom. She says OK but "i'm not going to have sex with you." Fine, I tell her. So we go upstairs and into my bed. There is a lot of dry humping and making out, but when I ask her to take her shirt off, she tells me "no" because she feels "safer" with her shirt on. Okay, fine. Continue making out, grinding, good stuff.

We get pretty tired and go to sleep. Next morning some more dry humping and making out. She leaves.

Text back and forth a few times during the week, I'm not completely feeling it so I'm pretty outcome independent, which felt nice. Tonight I get a text from her out of the blue asking me if I'm going to go to this show in town. I tell her no, instead I want to drive upstate to this bridge I heard was haunted (that's actually what I wanted to do haha I read about it earlier in the week and wanted to check it out). She says she's not feeling it, that she's a little tipsy and wants to stay in. So I say, OK, invite me over.

She says she wants to hang out but no "funny business" because she has to wake up early tomorrow. I take this as a shit test and say, "well you live pretty far so if no funny business is on the table for negotiation then I'm not sure I want to make the trek." She says she is afraid that I want to "do more than hang out." I just do not respond.

25 minutes later she starts on this diatribe about how she doesn't like to be "pressured physically" and the last time we hung out she felt "pressured." I told her, straight out, that I respected all of her boundaries and didn't force her to do anything. She says, "I know, but I felt like I had to put all my defenses up." She says she just wants a male friend that doesn't want to take her clothes off. I apologize that I can't provide that for her.

At this point I was feeling very rotten, and upset because I felt that this was a historical rewrite. What also bothers me is that she is a member of a social group of other girls I am interested in and I don't want the reputation of being "rapey" (a word girls sometimes throw on a guy haphazardly as if isn't an AWFUL TERMINAL accusation).

I feel frustrated, especially since I feel like if I was a super good looking guy, such a thing would never come up and my assertiveness would be "sexy." After some more hamstering, I left her with this, "I respect people by telling them what I want. That is my way of respecting people and treating them like adults."

She said she does respect that and "it's cool, I think you're cool, and I want to be friends. I'm sorry I made you feel bad."

At this point it's not salvageable, but I'm upset with the outcome and wondering if any of you have ever heard something similar.

To be honest, even though I did nothing wrong, it makes me feel like a bad guy. And I don't want to be a bad guy. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks friends.