"You're so quiet..."

weaseldude · 2014-10-12T05:09:45+00:00

She does always end up back in bed with me at the end of the night

Always remember: actions, not words. As long as this is the case, there is nothing wrong with how you are handing things.

-Tyler_Durden- · 2014-10-12T14:56:26+00:00

Stay the course; you're doing fine. Let her hamster wheel spin trying to figure you out. It doesn't matter what you make her feel as long as she's feeling something constantly.

Silence is golden.

[deleted] · 2014-10-12T07:31:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

OFF_THE_DEEP_END · 2014-10-12T08:08:28+00:00

You're naturally quite. There's nothing wrong with you. Empty heads hold long tongues.

You should work on your conversation skills though. Conversation is both a necessary skill and an art.

TheRealMewt · 2014-10-12T16:12:12+00:00

Any time anyone tells me that I'm quiet, I just smile and nod.

I'm sure I'm like a lot of guys here that have either gotten over social anxiety or on the road to recovery so it's something a lot of us had to deal with over the years - I got over it through dabbling in public speaking and being an immediate supervisor to young men and women at work, but I'm still quiet most of the time. Rather, I've learned that "less is more" when it comes to speech. If you have something to say, say it dutifully with brevity. Talk with a purpose and not just to say anything at all.

alreadyredschool · 2014-10-12T10:41:24+00:00

No. Being a closed book means not giving information about yourself. You can still talk like a waterfall (if the situation allows it)

CosmoKev · 2014-10-12T12:59:34+00:00

Sound just like me. Strong silent type. "Man of few words". Had this same situation with a woman I was seeing. Whenever we went out, she chatted up people at the club in front of me. But after a while, it was obv who she was going home with.

LineOfCoke · 2014-10-12T14:06:47+00:00

Read The Godfather, then watch the movie. Pay close attention to Vito and Michael. Practice the impassive stoneface.

She wants you to talk so she can know what you're thinking. She wants to know what you're thinking so she can figure out how to play you to suit her own needs. She's like a bloodhound looking for clues as to how you feel and what you think so she can manipulate you. So you practice stoneface, and practice conveying various emotions with facial expressions. Then every now and then you throw her a bone. But its really a plant. You want her to think you feel one way to solicit a certain response from her. It'll get to the point where you will know how she will respond to a certain face and you will be able to make her do certain things on command, because she will think your face has betrayed your feelings and that shes working with some inside information gleaned from your totally staged expression.

flatox · 2014-10-12T16:05:14+00:00

Also she brought up that i never text her unless im asking her to come over.

"Take it as a compliment", and change subject.

Flareprime · 2014-10-12T18:53:33+00:00

A certain introverted personality type just hates small talk. We think its a waste of time and think people who use it are dumb for doing it. Makes us suck at it too. Google "hate small talk," there's guides and stuff.

Don't really know if you need to change, I'll leave that to the experts. But if this describes you, I and others have similar problems.

Pushnikov · 2014-10-12T19:52:37+00:00

There's two kinds of talking to a woman...

1 - Interacting with her. In this case, interacting with her can be teasing her, or making fun of her, trying to play some status games with her emotionally.

2 - Speaking about something you're passionate about. This turns her on because she gets to see the inside workings of a man that noone else gets, or that she can use to elevate her status. "He's so passionate about cars." This does NOT mean talking about "yourself". Talking about something your passionate about is a hobby of yours that she would find cool, etc.

Any other kind of talk - observation, talking about game, talking about logical shit - means nothing to a woman. To her, it's like stripping away the mystery of what she likes in a man.

So, either talk passionately about something, or poke at her a bit for fun. This doesn't mean.

oldredder · 2014-10-12T21:32:29+00:00

You should be quiet when you know it's to your advantage, not because you're without options. If you have no idea what to talk about you're without options. I suggest figuring out more things that are potentially worth talking about. If you still feel it's for the best not to mention any of those things then stay quiet.

Being overly-wordy is a woman's game, not a man's. Men do things; women talk.

"Am i suppose to be texting her regularly?"

Nope. You're doing this right. She's shit-testing you. Do not comply & don't even argue it with her. The smirk response you already have is generally the right response.

"She hot and alot of guys pay ALOT of attention to her and maybe im the only guy not trying to hard to impress her"

And that's the reason why. You nailed it.

"Also she tries flirting with my friends in front of me. I think this is due to the lack of attention i show her."

NO.

This has 2 reasons: 1) as a hot girl her natural mode of communications with all men is flirty. Always. No matter what. Nothing you do can change this. 2) if they seem receptive to it this will encourage her to be flirty with them. Again, what you do can never change this.

"She does always end up back in bed with me at the end of the night tho"

That's what counts.

Only 1 tip for shy guys: stop being shy. Period. If not possible: too bad, other guys like us will take the girls.

fyseaking · 2014-10-13T21:01:11+00:00

I actually wish I could talk less. Quiet guys give girls the tingles because it makes them more mysterious for them. You lucky S.O.B.

intelcorei5 · 2014-10-13T23:53:10+00:00

She wants you to take the hint and open up to her. I.e. to show her the insecurity she's sensing.

Don't.

She likes you when you're quiet. Your mysteriousness turns her on, and she doesn't fully realize it.

leredditarmy5000 · 2014-10-12T13:53:44+00:00

not all criticism is a shit test. it sounds like like you are legitimately a very boring person. she's just sharing a concern. if a woman told you that your breath always stinks, that's not a shit test... your breath just stinks and it's disgusting. get your shit together you beta

bluepillEinstein · 2014-10-12T05:26:52+00:00

Im guessing this is a shit test.

You are guessing wrong.

She's asking for you to take the lead.

Everything isn't a "shit test." Everything isn't a "hamster."

Title	"You're so quiet..."
Author	imthemanyesiam
Upvotes	16
Comments	26
Date	October 12, 2014 4:17 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2j042g/youre_so_quiet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/youre-so-quiet.142768 https://theredarchive.com/post/142768

Comments

1 - Interacting with her. In this case, interacting with her can be teasing her, or making fun of her, trying to play some status games with her emotionally.