Mental health issues

I feel like I have a lot of internal issues. I try and be as self aware as possible and feel like I make things up in my head that aren’t true. I’m anxious and stressed all the time and get angry a lot. I feel like it’s self sabotage that I do to myself, generally I have a positive outlook and understand I can go and get anything I want if I put enough effort in, but idk? I just feel like it’s me, fucking with myself, telling myself shit that isn’t true, just to fuck with me, to make me feel self conscious, and insecure, etc. Need to work on my frame, bullshit that makes my hamster spin. When I be rational and think, everything in my life is good, I have it really good, I have a good life, even though it can be rough. One thing that fucks with me is not feeling man enough since I don’t have my own place, I havent fucked a girl since 2017 and have no women in my life right now. I understand that I can put myself out there by going out to the bar and going on dating apps and shit. It just sucks because I haven’t had any fucking sexual intimacy with a female most of my life, that part has been neglected, it’s always made me feel like shit. I feel like I can never talk about how I feel with anyone because no one would give a shit in the first place, I feel like I bottle it all up and try abs deal with It on my own but it’s just hard. I understand life is not easy and I grind 24/7 but it just fucking pisses me off. I just wanna get some fucking pussy, fucking girls and having sexual intimacy would be so nice to have. I told myself recently I need to stop tripping about not having my own place and have a different state of mind and start trying to bring girls to my parents house, they even said they would be understanding and respectful and give us privacy. I’m about to get my own place soon sometime this year, I’m grinding and grinding, excited for the future, but I just feel anxious and stressed, pissed, because I’m insecure with my masculinity because I’m not getting any ass, but it’s all in my head I’m putting bullshit, cuz I’m tall handsome and overthinking, if I think I can I can and if I think I can’t then I can’t. Fuck man wtf I’m just overthinking I don’t fucking know man fuck!!! I just want some fucking pussy. I know I’m not the only one, I’ve gotten girls numbers plenty of times, never seems to work out. I know my time is coming, I know the girls will come with me working on myself, but I’m getting sick and tired of it even though I don’t have a choice but to keep grinding. I need to change my mental state, idk what else to fucking say.