𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧.

The number one thing I’ve seen stopping guys from making a move is their deep-seeded fear of rejection.

They fear that others will see them desperately trying to win over a girl, and snicker at them behind their back.

They fear that the girl will disapprove of them and think that they are an insignificant clown.

They fear that they’ll be ostracized and humiliated by everyone around, and build a reputation of ‘the reject’.

This creates a really low self image. They carry and hold this detrimental self image.

And all of a sudden, a 1 second rejection becomes a week-long emotional trauma.

This wave of self doubt, depression, and self-attack creates chains of the mind. It prevents guys from even wanting to talk to girls in fear of the reality they expect to unfold.

This is all a story. A narrative created in the mind. Fiction.

Most girls are super happy to be approached by guys. Even the ones that don’t like it forget about it after a few seconds.

How do I know this?

Most girls get approached by multiple guys a day. It’s a normal occurrence. Every rejection is forgotten about.

What they DO remember are the attractive guys that stick out.

Other people that watch you talk to a girl: Most do so in adoration and praise.

There are countless times where guys come up to me after I talk to a girl and have given me compliments “yo bro! How did you do that!” When I didn’t even do anything special other than just saying hello.

Most people admire others that break through their mental barriers.

Take any inspirational figure. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kobe Bryant. These guys are lauded for going 150% with whatever they do. Fearless.

In reality, we praise them for going for risks and overcoming their fear. They experience the same emotional burden as we all do. But we love the fact that they rise above it.

Doing something risky is incredible.

Lastly, the way you think about yourself is not how others think about you. I’m sure all of you guys have thought negatively about yourself at one point in your life when others praised you. I’m sure you felt that you were undeserving of compliments.

Thats the fallacy though. The person giving the compliments genuinely sees the good qualities in you that you yourself don’t.

Even if you have a negative prediction of how the girl will react to you, you have no clue how she’ll actually see you. She might love awkward guys. She might like a feature of yours that you hate. This is more common than not.

So, how do you deal with this fear? You go in, knowing that the fear of shame and guilt is all created in the mind, and you test what happens anyways, knowing that even if your worst nightmares come true, they will only last for a few seconds.

Remember the immense amount of pain that avoiding being embarrassed puts you in. It causes paralysis. It has created many instances where you didn’t go for girls that were already into you. Contrast that pain to the pain of being embarrassed. Most likely, paralysis, inaction, your lack of results with women is much stronger than the pain of being embarrassed.

Dealing with adversity builds character. Even if others ridicule you, it’s an opportunity to rise above and face your fears. That’s what makes you stronger. It’s a PLUS to encounter your deepest fears.

It’s awesome to face a harsh rejection. Thats one more hardship you’ve gone through under your belt, one more experience to help you realize that nothing bad actually can happen. You’re still okay.

And that’s what makes you grounded. Thats what makes you from a boy into a man.

So go out there, embrace the humiliation and rejection you might face, and stand strong regardless of it. Don’t believe the stories that your mind tricks you into believing, and develop your personality to be resilient and courageous.

-Sean