A bit nervous for my first day in a while, advice needed about keeping conversation moving.

projectm35 · 2014-08-28T15:36:32+00:00

When the conversation stalls, it's only awkward if it feels awkward. Next time you're hanging out with a guy friend, watch the way conversation flows. There'll be times where nobody is talking but it doesn't feel weird. You're comfortable.

Same with women. You aren't a dancing monkey and neither is she. Just don't worry about it and it'll not be awkward, and then it'll pick itself back up again.

Beyond that, talk about whatever you feel like talking about. Be present and in the moment. Don't worry about scripting it, that will just make it awkward. Enjoy yourself. If you have fun she will.

1upac · 2014-08-28T18:40:55+00:00

This one usually works for me - focus on bouncing off of the last thing she says rather than trying to get "your word in" This is especially useful in any casual conversation.

ALSO If she is a little nervous too, just ask a lot of simple questions: "have you been here before?" "what looks good on the menu?" etc.. BUT, try to make an anecdote out of everything. Keep a few funny stories under your sleeve related to food, outings, etc.

Making her laugh and making her comfortable will make her more relaxed and open to fuel the conversation, and eventually escalate to stronger attraction to you :)

Sealife01 · 2014-08-28T20:49:19+00:00

Just be urself. Don't force anything. Look at the date as simply two friends hanging out. Less awkward tension and yes insist on paying! Girls like that.

sedrees · 2014-08-28T21:21:42+00:00

As a fellow gent who also has big problems with this when out of training, i have found a couple of tricks for it;

I watched a video from here once. I don't remember who, but someone gave a seminar saying that AA is your worst enemy (shocker), but taking the initiative is really all you have to do! Always keep her responsible for keeping the interaction moving, stay alpha in the conversation. Ask simple questions like "so, where are you from?", and expect an answer you can build on. If the answer is just "Orlando", look at her with an expression that says "so... that's it? nothing more interesting?" It gets awkward (for her), and after a good 10 sec of this, you try and help her with a "ok, so what's the most interesting thing about Orlando?". You get the picture. Of course if she gives a good answer, you just build on that.
You need the mindset. In any good conversation, you don't stop and think "i'm doing really good here, i'm keeping this convo up", you're more out of your own head and it flows naturally. Force yourself to talk to anyone you meet, approach everyone! Especially if you see someone you know just a little bit, but usually wouldn't talk to, force yourself to go and say hi.
Parroting: A very effective, but IMO a very boring tool. When talking to someone, just repeat the last few words they said, and the ball is back in their court. works like a charm, gets boring pretty fast.
Learn to love awkwardness! I'm not as good at this as i once was, but, it works wonders every time. If a conversation stalls, or in any awkward situation really, just look at it as an episode of "The Office" or something. I mean oh my god this person standing in front of you is feeling sooooo awkward right now, that's just hilarious! To practice, start trying to get in awkward situations and just get out of your head and laugh at it. When i got the hang of it, i would start laughing out loud just looking at the other person, she asks what i'm laughing at, and I answer honestly "You're feeling so fucking awkward right now/this is so awkward, look at you, all freaking out". You get laughter, you get to tease her a little, you shoot the elephant in the room, and the both of you gets more relaxed.

DrPussyMD · 2014-08-28T14:12:42+00:00

A little trick I like to use sometimes is to ask the girl's opinion on a particular feature of mine, for example I often shape my beard into all kinds of styles so I'll ask her something like "so what do you think of my current beard? Should I grow it out or leave it as it is," or you could perhaps tell her you're thinking about getting your ears pierced and ask what her thoughts on that is. Stuff like this will naturally branch off into other topics too. Good luck mate!

rangamatchstick · 2014-08-28T15:45:57+00:00

On a date its not bad to touch on the basic topics you mentioned but focus the conversation on interstest, mainly things you do that make you interesting. Im NOT saying talk about yourself and only yourself in an obvious showy way, but your aim should always be to be attractive and part of that is more than looks and alpha behavior, you need to show her you are interesting and have fun!

Title	A bit nervous for my first day in a while, advice needed about keeping conversation moving.
Author	Dmac680chi
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	August 28, 2014 1:41 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2etkva/a_bit_nervous_for_my_first_day_in_a_while_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-bit-nervous-for-my-first-day-in-a-while-advice.1375655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1375655

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