Tonight I could have been writing about how I finally decided to man up and cold approach a girl, but instead, I'm here writing about how I utterly failed.

After dinner, I decided to take a stroll around a busy street. As I was enjoying the crisp evening air and minding my own business, I walked into a clump of people. As I waited for the clump to disperse, I saw two long and gorgeous legs emerge, and I slowly looked up and realized that I was locking eyes with an absolutely stunning woman. It was like one of those commercials with the camera panning up on a model in slow-mo. We kept locking eyes until we finally passed each other.

As you can guess, the thrill of locking eyes with a beautiful woman got my heart pumping really fast. I wanted that feeling again, and for a split second, I considered turning around and saying, "hey, I noticed how stunning you are, and I wanted to introduce myself," or some similar opener. Of course, I lacked the courage to do so, so it only became a mere fantasy in my head.

I was waiting for my friend to contact me so that I could go to her birthday party, so I decided to keep strolling. I made a u-turn, and surely enough, I saw the woman again with a group of people about to enter a restaurant. Then a crazy idea popped into my head: I'll keep strolling around, waiting for my friends who are always slow and lazy to get things started, and hopefully I'll see the woman when she exits the restaurant. My mind started coming up with various excuses like, "that's creepy", and "what happened to abundance mentality?", and other similar statements. At that point, though, I had made up my mind. I wanted to at least open the woman, and if I were to get rejected, I would have been happy for trying.

About 45 minutes later, still no word from my friend about the party, and it just so happens that as I was strolling by that restaurant again, I saw the woman come out. Here was my chance to open! My heart raced. I panicked. I thought, "okay, I'll just walk around again and magically walk past her and open." That opportunity never came. But the time I came back, a mere minute later, she was gone, probably in some Uber.

That's when I got really frustrated and angry with myself. All these excused prevented me from opening her, and while her rejection might have hurt temporarily, the regret I have of not opening will stay with me for a while. I'm hoping this is the turning point because I'm so frustrated for wasting an opportunity. I know more opportunities will come, but nevertheless, I want to channel this anger into something productive.

I eventually went to my friend's birthday party and made it a point to talk to every stranger because of how frustrated I was with my own AA.

I hope to post some FRs in the future of my progress.