Hey everyone, I'd like to hear your opinion.

When I just finished high school I realized that I missed some attention from women I wanted. I got a bit into reading seduction stuff and soon I had a whole next view of how I should interact with women. This had some very minor results, just because I now started to effectively put myself out there, but honestly I really never felt comfortable in it. It were not strict rules I was following, but the whole mindset created lead to situations where I for example faked disinterest, consciously thought about when I answer to texts, sometimes being a bit rude on purpose, and all stuff like that. I really felt dishonest about everything, it was really not in me

So now I totally swinged back from this and really just act as feels right, even if this would totally go against what most people here would advice. I'm just being my honest self, trying to have as little fake behavior as possible. This however leads to me being genuinely nice. For example, it's just not my style to always go in for a kiss on the first date, I just sincerely often don't feel comfortable enough for that. You can call it being a pussy, but it's not out of fear at all. The exception is with people I really connect with of couse. This sometimes leads to interactions where this probably made me lose a chance with girls. I rather think of it as a filter of her liking the real me, if she doesn't, it's not meant to be - I'm not going to overly chase or play games. Obviously I'm still human, dishonest action can always creep in because of shyness or whatever, but this is what I strive for at least.

Just an example about what I mean. Recently a girl I really liked told me she just wanted to be friends. We had a pretty open conversation about it, where I told her that she really would be a great friend and all that, but that since I liked her in a different way it would be an unpleasant experience for me. That I do not think of her any less, and if she ever wants to have a chat once in a while or stuff I'm all down, but that I'm not interested in continuing interacting as purely friends. The only reason I sugarcoated all this is because I honestly cared how she felt and how she went out of it. I was the one being rejected an being nice about it, which I think would be adviced against by most people here. I just felt like I could easily let go without the slightest tase of bitterness, and why not leave her with a positive vibe, she did not do anything wrong. A few years ago I would have thought ''WHAT? I AM THE PRIZE!!! HER LOSS SHE WILL SEE!'', but now I just look at it as two equal persons not overlapping in what they want.

Anyway this all made me think between the difference about just being nice from the heart, versus being a ''nice guy''? What are your opinions?