Admitting to others that your a virgin

transintraining · 2014-10-09T20:46:20+00:00

I was a virgin until 21 by choice. I had previous offers that I backed down from because I didn't find the person attractive enough or I didn't respect them enough.

I had one girl who was a "attack everyone else for anything she could because she was overly self conscious and wanted to distract everyone from her issues, type"

She had previously tried to get into bed with me at a party and I turned her down and she cried and I nicely tried to explain to her that I just wanted someone i cared about to be my first.

Two or three days later were with friends and she pulls my v-card out of no where and starts trying to make fun of me. I said "it sounds cheesy but i actually want to have sex with people i care about and trust, at least for my first few times. Also Chelsea, you shouldn't make fun of someone for something that you can't even get when I'm shitty drunk and you're begging for it."

She shut right the fuck up. Being a virgin was not something I was embarrassed about.

My point is, that, you are in charge of what embarrasses you. You decided what offences you let effect you.

Still being a virgin may not be a choice in your case as it was with mine but you being embarrassed about being a virgin is just plain stupid. It's sex, its fun and great and causes lot's of trouble in everyone's lifes but its not some amazing goal that you need in order to have self worth in your life. Would you be embarrassed if someone made fun of you for never having gone skydiving? Does that mean you're afraid of heights or too poor to do it? No, it just means you haven't fucking done it, why are you embarrassed. I have never been to russia, ireland or the moon. These are very important goals for some people and not so important for others. You have worth beyond some people in some regards and other people in other regards have more worth than you.

Don't be sad or discouraged. Just go and do what you want to do. You want to get laid, figure out how and go do it. You want to learn to play piano? You don't get those skills for free. Set your goals yourself and accomplish them. Don't let other people do it. They suck at it.

I told the girl I first had sex with that I was a virgin. When she finally believed me she REALLY wanted to change that fact. Being a virgin doesn't mean you're a loser. Being embarrassed about dumb shit like that is what makes you a loser. Attacking other people for dumb insignificant shit like that makes you a really pathetic loser and terrible hate filled person.

recyclablebantha · 2014-10-10T02:22:17+00:00

I'm still in my last few years at a sixth form college, is admitting yourself as a virgin a big no-no? I'm 19 now and I feel that it might be a bit embarrassing to admit it. Also, girls might think I'm looking for sympathy in some way.

19 years old and a virgin..... that's hardly the end of the world. There are guys who bloom later than that and it's alright. (I waited until just before my 21st birthday.) And 19 is not like some shocking age to be a virgin, either.

Is admitting it a no-no? No. But it's also not necessary. The subject of my virginity never came up with the first girl. Why do you need to bring it up at all? Because you're scared she'll just KNOW? Not necessarily true. So many people in the world are so preoccupied with themselves that they don't really pay attention to those around them. And a lot of guys are so bad at sex that they're almost indistinguishable from virgins.

You want to focus on something practical, quit worrying about your action plan to disclose your virginity, and start arming yourself with knowledge, which is, after all, power. Research everything you can online about sex!

Sexual positions. There's no reason why you can't know about a variety of positions and have some you'd like to try out.
The location of the g-spot. (The girls g-spot, AND yours.)
The different orgasms a man and woman can have, and how you'd go about looking for them. (Hint: there's at least 2 for girls and boys.)
Aside from the Internet, I know that No Fap is a thing, but honestly, you need to masturbate at some point or you won't be familiar with your own path to orgasm. If you don't know that, you'll be in danger of being a minute man.
Realize that there's no "right" way to be a lover. Each woman is different so the important thing is to PAY ATTENTION. It's a discovery process: just explore her body with your hands and tongue..... etc.
If there is one good rule of thumb, it'd be to start off slow and with low intensity. And pay attention to every little response and twitch in her body as you do something. She'll SHOW you what she likes, when you do something she likes.

If you can research up a storm and go in with a good attitude, the girl won't care you're a virgin and you'll have a leg up on many guys who technically have more experience than you.

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-10-10T04:28:08+00:00

Being a virgin by itself doesn't matter. The problem is really being the type of man who can't get laid. There's a subtle difference.

If you think that girls think that you're looking for sympathy, maybe you're just projecting. Or maybe you are communicating that on a subtle level.

To be honest, I think that if you feel a little embarassed admitting it, maybe on some level, you are looking for validation that being a virgin is okay (i.e. looking for sympathy). I mean, hell, you made this thread pretty much to see if there's a stigma attached to your virginity.

dobtoronto · 2014-10-09T20:33:24+00:00

Is it a big no-no?

No it isn't. If asked, I wouldn't lie, but I also wouldn't blurt it out for no reason.

What's the big deal, anyway? Your outlook should value having an easy-going fun experience over achieving the designation 'non-virgin'.

SexySmexxy · 2014-10-09T23:31:38+00:00

Just play it off.

If for whatever reason a girl thinks you are just say you are with a big confident smile, if they say "really" tell them you two should go and find out if you're telling the truth.

There is no such thing as a truly bad situation, you can spin anything to your favour.

2014-10-10T01:51:29+00:00

Virgin til I was 25. Did not say a word to the girl about it and dated her several months. She never said anything about it.

turo9992000 · 2014-10-09T20:44:53+00:00

In what situations would it come up? Just be honest. Who cares.

Title	Admitting to others that your a virgin
Author	dubinho
Upvotes	0
Comments	14
Date	October 9, 2014 8:24 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2isi97/admitting_to_others_that_your_a_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/admitting-to-others-that-your-a-virgin.1377771 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377771

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