Advice please

EvolutionTheory · 2010-04-15T20:54:13+00:00

Man up, dude. She's asked you to hang out. If you don't want to get friend zoned, then you make it seem like you thought it was a date - just work on that assumption. It would take more backbone than she probably has to correct you on that assumption since she's the one who asked you.

It sounds like you've been working a soft sell with her for a while. Time to ditch that, it obviously hasn't gotten you anywhere.

Time for the hard sell. Take her out somewhere, with the idea that you're going to be hanging out with some other friends of yours, both guys and girls. It should be a nice, little bar with nothing to do but drink. Already knowing the owner/bartenders and having a 'regular' drink will impress her, so if you've got a place like that, head there. Act surprised when none of your friends show up (because you told them not to show, obviously), but keep the alcohol going.

Show her a good time and get her a little buzzed, and you'll be headed back to her or your place that night. Don't get her totally smashed though. In my experience girls get the guard up when they get too hammered and it's their first time fucking someone - it's better to get them giddy and happy, singing/dancing along with songs on the jukebox but not having trouble walking in a straight line... this is the sweet spot.

Just display confidence, don't treat her like a princess but don't be a dick, and make sure to be funny and let her do most of the talking.

Don't overdo it with the outfit either, that's the mistake most guys make. She's already hanging out with you for the night, you can lay off the douchitude. Not saying you should be slovenly, but don't douche it up.

Lastly, you may have already been friend zoned. If this is the case you'll find out pretty fast - don't try to grope her or anything, but slight touches and her reaction to them will tell you a lot about how she feels. Lingering eye contact is also a good sign, as is her posture and how close/far from you she sits/stands.

If it doesn't happen this weekend, it's never going to happen - move on and get away from someone who's sucking up your life without being worth your time. But don't go into it expecting that to be the outcome, you've got to go into this with the mindset that you're going to succeed. Best of luck.

Sublomino · 2010-04-15T22:59:07+00:00

I noticed that you keep saying that you always screw this stuff up, are a total idiot, and that you're a moron. A habit that I have sometimes is asking myself "Why do I always screw this stuff up?" without even realizing it. My brain will give me answers like "because you're an idiot and a moron with women." Well, that may be true at times. And it can be useful to ask that question sometimes, but it is not useful if it has become a habitual pattern of thinking, and it's not useful for getting into the state that you need in order to perform better. A better question is "Why am I good with women?" or "Why CAN I have a girlfriend?" This will help to put more attention on the more positive qualities about yourself and help you to nurture and grow them. Otherwise you're just watering the seed of insecurity.

So my advice is just to start with answering the question "why am I the type of guy a hot woman like this would want to date?", or "what are all the reasons that I KNOW that I can do this?" If you like it, you get more effect by asking yourself this and answering with a new reason every single morning, so that you condition yourself into a new pattern of thinking.

escrow · 2010-04-15T22:31:55+00:00

She already likes you man, if you dont make a move this weekend, she'll probably be very offended, then you'll be in the friend zone forever from lack of action.

Apply all the usual PUA stuff, just read through this seddit, but if you havent applied a lot of this stuff already; then dont modify your behavior too much, by your post she already likes you for who you are.

The last thing you wanna do is on your 1st weekend alone together is appear to be someone your not... Ya get me dawg?

PS. If you havent at least kissed this girl by the end of the weekend, you've f'cked up forever. (I'd do it on the first night)

Relax

rubygeek · 2010-04-16T10:32:17+00:00

For starters, fix your self talk. Stop the fuck putting yourself down. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time you call yourself a moron etc., tell yourself "STOP!", and find a good quality you have and mention that to yourself instead. Get used to seeing yourself in a positive light - it'll noticeably improve your confidence levels.

Title	Advice please
Author	recoveringwussbag
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	April 15, 2010 8:16 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/brgqn/advice_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-please.1305329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1305329

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