I’m understand that how I treat this situation can help determine the outcome but ultimately this depends on her intentions. I just want to make sure my heads in the game since this one comes with land mines.

Background: We were married for over 20 years, 2 kids, but she walked out at the beginning of this year. Since then, most of our communication has been through text, though we recently she asked if we could speak over the phone. During the call, she said we will always have a special connection and that she makes sure new people in her life understand and accept that. We also got into a debate over who left who, which I’m wondering why it matters now. She also agreed to meet for drinks and playfully asked if I could keep my hands off her. I told her I couldn’t promise anything, and she responded with, “We’ll see.” I asked her out to have a discussion over drinks, and she agreed.

I want the debate over who left who to be a sign that she’s questioning if she made the right decision but I think it’s for her own closure. The playfulness about being touchy-feely and agreeing to go out for drinks is what has me questioning where we’re at, like fwb, just a friend from a past relationship or what?

I plan to get the details for this when we do go for drinks but I still want to have a good time and not make this a couples argument or too serious. I plan to keep conversations light and flirty, but thoughtful about the importance off exist connections and the comfort that can bring. I’ll also gauge her comfort levels at different physical proximities, and look to ask the real questions towards the end of the night (would she like to still date each other?). Any tips or good conversation starters that help women relax and feel vulnerable as in safe?