So quick backstory, I've always usually been a guy who hasn't had much luck with women, any time I did my friends would usually be condescending about it. In short I was the guy that 'couldn't get girls' it affected my value, it made me feel like I wasn't physically attractive enough and it became a self fulfilling prophecy. So recently I went travelling around Europe for 4 months and I was no longer tied to the person I was back home. Slowly and slowly I pulled away from the person I was as there was nothing holding me back. I began getting success with girls, I would be getting comments from people saying I was good with girls or that I was a player and this manifested into itself which gave me permission to be the guy that was good with girls.

So in summary don't tie your sense of identity to the environment and the people around you, I think this is a big reason why many guys struggle to improve with girls as they are scared that people will judge them for trying to change themselves.