Any tips for on-line dating?

TacoT4coTaco · 2012-12-19T17:41:57+00:00

I was on OKC for a while this fall and had pretty good success, pulled a date a week, probably could've gotten more if I'd had the time. I found that dating a bunch of girls without having to worry too much about AA helped improve my offline game a great deal. I live in NYC, which according to everyone on /r/OKCupid makes OKCupid far easier for guys than anywhere else. Never used it anywhere else, so I can't speak to that.

Your profile: For the love of god make your profile interesting. Don't describe yourself with adjectives, tell stories about yourself/life that show what kind of person you are. Look at other guys' profiles, if there is a sentence in your profile that appears in several other guys' profiles remove it or rework to be more unique to you (ie dont say 'I really enjoy cooking,' say 'I make a mean Texas style chilli, fuck beans, I hate beans.'). If you submit your profile to /r/okc for a critique, there are some people there who'll give you good specific advice. People fall into the trap of of being too generic in hopes of attracting a wide range of girls. Really you need to come off as unique and interesting, even if there's something in your profile that a girl disagrees with, that's good fodder for a message.
Use the MyBestFace to pick out photos, run it a few times as the sample size is pretty small and some of the girls rating your photos will be well outside your demographic. I was surprised by which of my photos were rated best.
Send short unique initial messages. Three sentences is just about perfect. Comment on something in their profile. Always end with a question, ideally about something in their profile. Jokingly challenging something in their profile works well too. If you can't find anything in her profile that's worth message her about, don't bother. Attractive girls with boring profiles get loads of generic messages.
Get to asking her out quickly, three messages back and fourth max. Same rules that get stated on seddit a lot apply for asking out on OKC, tell, dont ask, be specific about time and place. "Let's continue this conversation over a drink. Tuesday, 8 o'clock at a bar X." Do not say 'Would you like to get a drink sometime?' that's asking her to ask you out, in most cases she will stop responding. Lots of people seem to get hung up on getting the girl's number and starting to text her before asking her out, I never did this. Generally once the date was set we'd exchange numbers as a matter of utility, but I wouldn't text before the date, even to confirm unless she texted me. Never got flaked on.

2012-12-20T17:54:04+00:00

All I do is ask questions. Look at their profile, find a legitimate question you have about them, and ask them it. One sentence, that's it. This has worked for me. Obviously this doesn't work very well if they don't write any shit worth reading on there though.

For example, "How exactly did you come upon [surprisingly unique career path]?". And I've asked far more mundane shit than that and got responses, but all were things that I was legitimately curious to know though.

Then after a couple messages, "Well you seem cool. We should do [activity/date]".

MyThrowawaySeddit · 2012-12-19T16:18:20+00:00

I'll disqualify myself right away by saying I hate hate hate hate online dating, because you're tossing yourself into a massive pool of AFCs with ZERO way to differentiate yourself. But if you have to do it:

write messages that are distinct enough to show you read a thing in their profile but short enough that you only take a minute to do it (or copy and paste half of it to everyone). 50% of the profiles you message are no longer using the site, and another 40% are screening like crazy, with maybe 10% even reading your message and half of those liking you.
get to a suggestion of a date quickly. plenty of girls are nice enough to write back but are not actually looking to go on a date.
try to get real pictures before you bother if you care about looks at all. I liked to facebook them, and literally 9 out of 10 times I realized they were HB5s when they looked like HB9s in their okc profile
go for a cheap/easy first date with a time constraint. its REALLY hard to get comfort and kino on the first date unless she's really desperately DTF (which does happen - i had 2 one night stands on first dates there)
don't invest much time until you get to a 2nd real date with these people. online dating is a numbers game at a level way beyond real life pickup

salem2474 · 2012-12-20T05:48:06+00:00

My best advice is: don't. Huge time sink, and I found it distracted me from real life approaches.

But, if you still intend to:

Make your profile good. I cut my number of pictures in half, and left the text more mysterious.
Following format for messages: 'Hey, Look like we both like X. What do you think of Y? - name.' Throw in a tease or a joke if you think of one, otherwise just leave it at that. X and Y don't have to be related.
Find new girls using quickmatch. Just hit 3 stars until you see one you like. Open up a few profiles, scan them. Message them if they're online, favorite them if they're not.
When you're online, message your favorites who are online. Girls who are actually online are much more likely to reply or IM.

All of this made my response rate jump to 30-40%. And it STILL wasn't worth it. Took forever to set up dates, a bunch were 20-30 pounds heavier than IRL. Some were weird. Some got kind of flakey once we exchanged numbers.

Sooo much easier just to say 'hi'. Then you know exactly what the girl looks like, and you can build enough attraction that she actually wants to meet you.

Cmonman42 · 2012-12-19T20:55:26+00:00

What kind of messages are you sending? I have decent profile and get responses from probably over 30% of girls I message.

Cmonman42 · 2012-12-20T17:14:57+00:00

The problem with online dating is that you are not saving any time, it just adds one more step to the interaction that does not need to be there.

Your odds of getting a number and a date from a girl you approach are significantly higher than when messaging a girl online.

So grow some balls and go outside, you don't need to search for women online when there are plenty walking around at the nearest mall/bar/club a mile away.

Title	Any tips for on-line dating?
Author	Cmonman42
Upvotes	4
Comments	22
Date	December 19, 2012 3:09 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15406i/any_tips_for_online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-tips-for-on-line-dating.1344523 https://theredarchive.com/post/1344523

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