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Anyone had success with getting dates after the number? (Cold approach)

bensenigu · 2018-11-15T22:16:18+00:00

Hi reddit, Ive been cold approaching women who are on the higher scale attractiveness level and getting 5-6 numbers a week on average.. However none of them...

bensenigu

November 15, 2018

0 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Anyone had success with getting dates after the number? (Cold approach)
Author	bensenigu
Upvotes	0
Comments	4
Date	November 15, 2018 10:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9xfwz2/anyone_had_success_with_getting_dates_after_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anyone-had-success-with-getting-dates-after-the.1456814 https://theredarchive.com/post/1456814

Comments

[–]cyrilan 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]bensenigu[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PuroPincheGains 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

From an Old School Outer Game Perspective:

You're stuck in the Attraction phase when you should ideally be getting to the Comfort phase before number closing. You're approaching and trying to demonstrate value by being the cool guy that you are, but you aren't getting her to work for you. You're definitely not developing the conversation into a free flowing , friendly, and sympathetic dialogue. That's how you build rapport and it happens after you mutually hold each other as high value. Here's the old school Mystery Method phase outline with your trouble spots in bold:

Attraction:

A1 - Approach and Open
A2 - Demonstrate Your Value: You're likely asking for the number around here but you shouldn't be. Doing that shows her that even though you're attractive, you'd ask for any girl's number as long as they think you're cute. After opening, demonstrate value with a cocky/funny demeanor, with stories that illustrate your best, and with your physical presentation. Look for Indicators of Interest (IOIs) to tell when you've peaked her interest in your value. When you get 2-3 IOIs, move on.
A3 - She Demonstrates Value: You're likely failing here, it's tricky. Make her work for you so she knows you don't just ask for any girl's number. Ask questions or use open ended statements to find out if you actually like her or not. This should make her qualify herself/demonstrate her value, assuming you've peaked her interest. When she does offer quality responses that peak your interest, you should give your own IOIs, essentially positively reinforcing good conversation. Tease her a little in a joking way to keep your value up. Move on once the conversation feels like a natural back an forth.

Comfort:

C1 - Building Rapport: After she's shown signs of being attracted to you, and you've given signs back when she earned them, you can now chill out a bit. Just converse. Get to know each other. Find things you have in common. Ask about things you just genuinely want to know about. Tone down the jokes and teasing here. You're not cocky /funny anymore, and you're not telling your best stories, you're lowering your guard and just being sincere. Your stories just answer her questions, they may or may not demonstrate value, they don't need to. You should scratch the surface of kinesthetic escalation. To this point should take around 10-20 minutes. You can ask for the number here.
C2 - Build emotional and physical connection (This is date and kiss territory. Longest phase, could take a dozen hours over multiple days. One night stands rush through this)
C3 - Intimacy (At this point she's comfortable enough to be in your bed watching Netflix, 3+ date territory)

Seduction:

S1 - Foreplay
S2 - LMR
S3 - Sex

From a More Modern Viewpoint:

You need to stop getting the number so soon. You're telling her you need to go immediately after you get the number. That's weird in itself, but it boils down to the same thing. Cold approaching is only a numbers game until you find success. Once you find success, and if you're genuinely interested in her, you push for progress. There's no hurry to leave. If things are progressing to the point that you think you can get the number, you should keep going. You should get the number when you actually must part ways, and you should only need to part ways from a successful approach when circumstance makes it so. Like the bar is closing, or your friends are leaving and she's staying. Asking so soon is unattractive for one of 3 reasons:

It comes across as fake. You're out cold approaching and everyone, especially she, knows it. Give her reason to believe you aren't in a hurry to talk to the next girl.
It comes across as needy. You barely know anything about her and she barely knows you, but you've decided you want to see her in the future. If you haven't even moved past the stage where she isn't sure how you'd respond to rejection, there's a problem. She'll give you her number because it's the easiest way out, but she won't text back.
If the interaction is genuinely enjoyable and you're hitting it off, you should want to keep hanging out with her. If it's not enjoyable enough for you to stick around and hang out, of course she isn't going to text back. You're either killing any chemistry you might have had, or there wasn't any in the first place.

Summary

Don't strike while the irons hot. Instead, heat the iron up so high that it's still hot when you get around to it.

[–]bensenigu[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link