Apologizing?

ohwilson · 2013-11-24T08:34:35+00:00

Apologize for being a dick, not for your sexuality or hitting on them. You gotta learn to to make a distinction which can be hard. They sometimes overlap.

A lot of people take "never apologize" as "start purposefully acting like a dick and never apologize for it". If you're hitting on a girl and the stuff you're saying is coming from a positive place, you should never apologize cause there is no reason to no matter how direct or sexual you're being. Unfortunately, nobody's perfect and we all end up being a dick sometimes, in which case it's fine to apologize when you realize it.

Once I was really drunk and suggested (in a not very smooth way) to two female friends that we have a threesome. When they turned me down I laughed them off and said "Why not, I've had sex with both of you already anyway", then wandered off to talk to someone else. I woke up the next day and thought about it and realized I wasn't sorry about the threesome part, but I was about the second part, because it came from a place of weakness and insecurity. A kneejerk cocky drunken reply to put them down after they turned me down. Not a huge deal, but still I apologized because it was a dickish thing to say and I don't identify myself as a dick.

tl;dr: Don't apologize unless you're a dick, which you definitely will be sometimes, in which case apologize.

HappyJerk · 2013-11-24T08:51:43+00:00

Here's the thing.

Normally, its in human nature to apologize for every little thing we do that we are afraid may annoy somebody. This is good because it creates lubrication for society and makes society function. But... you have to turn your apology meter off in certain situations or else you look like a supplicating beta. For example, if a girl is trying to walk past you and you are in her way, it may be your instinct to apologize for standing in her way, and that's normally a good thing to do, but the actual reality is that you didn't do anything wrong and apologizing will make you look small. So for the most part, don't apologize.

The only time you should apologize is if you something sincerely wrong. And do it in a very confident, genuine way. Look into their eyes and deeply apologize. Don't be like "hey I'm sorry I called you a bitch." Mean it. But then again, don't do anything you should ever have to really apologize for. So we're back to #1: no apologizing.

sachalamp · 2013-11-24T08:30:47+00:00

You're normal, i'm happy pua didn't brainwash you. There are situations when you can say sorry for fucking something up or at least assume responsibility. And you sound mature enough to notice them.

JohnnyB11790 · 2013-11-24T15:18:57+00:00

Sometimes it's cross. Don't worry about being an Alpha that is all crap. Women respect confidence and not douchebags. Some women can't tell the difference between the two and therefore they get laid.

I rarely apologize and feel like a chump when I do. I know it is right to apologize if I feel like a chump and less of a chump after I apologize. I never say "I am sorry" because i think it is never sincere and pitiful. It is better to use an emotion to describe yourself.

For example (this has not happened) I make a joke about a girl doing something poorly (functions as a neg) and say something like she should be fired. Well she just got fired from her job and takes it really personally.

To recover I say "I did not know you were fired from your job recently, I am so embarrassed!" In this case I may tell a story that elicits the same type of emotion she may be feeling and end it on a positive note. "One time I lost my job... (Story goes on) But as I was meeting some new friends because One of them recommended me for a new and I got the position!!! I guess it's true when one door shuts another one opens."

Sometimes it's not easy to recover and I suggest at some points cut your losses and begin talking to someone else.

Title	Apologizing?
Author	Ag_in_China
Upvotes	8
Comments	5
Date	November 24, 2013 6:08 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rc3bh/apologizing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/apologizing.1362056 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362056

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