Approach anxiety or approach excitement?

sebK1 · 2016-08-30T15:44:35+00:00

If it were real excitement then you would have no problem doing it. You would be excited to do it, right?. But if it's something that just makes you more hesitant, I wouldn't call it excitement.

You know this whole "reframing" thing seems like just another useless mind trick to me, it may seem work for a little while, but then you find another obstacle, and you start looking for another mind trick to fix it. You're caught in an endless circle, or worse a downward spiral. No good possible outcome there, much like when you start analyzing and rationalizing things in your head, you are walking straight to hell, all while telling yourself that you are "improving". It is definitely not the way to go.

rbhfd · 2016-08-30T16:37:54+00:00

Anxiety and excitement aren't the same thing, but they can come hand in hand. The reason you want to approach women is excitement: there's a certain thrill about talking to someone you don't know, especially if you're attracted to them. But before you can achieve, you have to actually start talking to them, which is where anxiety comes in. You started thinking whatever might go wrong (how irrational it may be, since nothing bad will actually happen).

It's very similar to when you go e.g. bungee jumping. You feel excited about the jump. Then you get on edge of the bridge or platform you're jumping from, and you're mind is trying to convince you to stop. But you push through and make the jump and it feels so good. And you're high on that one decision for the rest of the day. Now imagine you opt out of that jump. You'd feel so stupid.

It's the same for approaching women: the small step you need to overcome is insignificant of what you might get out of it.

Me and some friends went bungee jumping a couple of months ago. In the evening, we were out, and my friend was contemplating whether to go talk to one woman. I told him "you went bungee jumping today, you're not afraid of anything". And he did, and ended up making out with her, even though she was 7 years older than him and spoke a different language.

I don't know why I'm writing this all up. I haven't conquered approach anxiety myself (unless when I'm too drunk), so maybe just to internalize it myself.

Title	Approach anxiety or approach excitement?
Author	lovesickmale
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	August 30, 2016 2:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/50bd4e/approach_anxiety_or_approach_excitement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approach-anxiety-or-approach-excitement.1411686 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411686

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