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[–]skullirang 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Your intuition is correct.
If it’s a girl in my class I take it very slow. You don’t need to go direct. There are no advantages to it.
The only reason you go direct is so that you get a girl interest and get her contact. This is more applicable to women you most likely won’t see again i.e strangers you meet in public. Going direct for a girl you have regular class with is not necessary.
[–]Smugdemeanor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My sentiments exactly! Thanks
[–]cowvin26 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
An analogy that has always stuck with me, and I'm simplifying here: "Indirectly approaching a girl is like a car salesman talking about the weather."
[–]Smugdemeanor 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well... You've got to admit that when you go to a car dealership, you mean business. There's a lot that the car salesman can infer from just the fact that you came into the dealership. Take meeting a random girl at the bookstore... you can't infer anything from her being there.
Perhaps your analogy is better fit for when you're at a club.. and even then, i'd still argue that you never know who she's there with.. she could be a married woman uno.
[–]theforgeproject 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Indirect is fear based. You also have your mind set up that you will be rejected even before you approach. You have handed all your power as a man over to the pussy.
[–]Smugdemeanor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Not exactly since you are still approaching..? You just need to collect vital information first before conveying sexual interest. And correct me if I'm wrong, but rejection IS a very possible outcome of your approach. You're talking like it's not.
[–]theforgeproject 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
“I’m quite short so if I go in directly, most girls have reservations”
This quote right here shows a lot. It shows that the op (was it you?) has his mind in her assumed mind. This means he is prioritizing what he thinks she thinks over what he thinks. A losing mans habit. In a larger, deeper sense it reveals that he doesn’t know who he is and essentially doesn’t trust and rely on that knowledge as his compass.
Logistics of her being single? Who cares. If I a man likes what he sees he talks to her. She doesn’t care what job you have or what your major is. What’s important is how your interaction makes her feel. If you have a smooth mouthpiece and can turn her on with just your words none of the mentioned logistics matter. If she wants to fuck you she’ll make the effort to allow it to happen.
But this requires a man. A guy who is not only male but knows deeply who he is, knows what his principles and codes and rules are and is comfortable with his sexual nature.
Is it fool proof being authentic? Of course not. But it’s not lying. It’s straightforward and honest. “You caught my eye and I want to get to know you in a more intimate way.” Chat her up, make her laugh, blush, and think and then give her your number. Why? Bc a man doesn’t give a shit about women as much as most males do AND it gives her space to make a decision based on how you made her feel.
The indirect guy is dishonest. He has the same impulse as the direct man except he doubts himself and his ability to arouse her so he beats around the bush with sorting out what her major is or what her job is or any other stupid interview questions. Does he really care what her major is? Really really care? No he doesn’t. He wants to fuck just as much as the direct guy except he doesn’t know how to live through his balls.
Not only is indirect game dishonest and time consuming it blurs the lines as to why you, a stranger is talking to her. She knows why you approached her but oddly you’re asking her about what she’s doing over spring break. It puts a smoke screen in front of the true nature of the interaction and it’s not getting her wet.
Direct men never lose. They only succeed and learn. That is it
[–]Smugdemeanor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I like your response man. I can't disagree with it because I realise we are simply approaching the same thing differently. So good on you for this approach if it works for you. Personally the times I went direct and got shot down ended in the girl avoiding me all year, which is not a space I want to be in with about 20 girls in the same college.
Also one more thing: you make the assumption that the indirect guy never lets her know his intention. Far from it. He just does it strategically after knowing a bit more about her and her knowing a bit more about him.
There, it looks like you're interested in her for more than her looks. And if you are wittier than you are handsome, she's going to judge you based on far more than just your appearance.
Being 5'7" is not an attractive trait and we both know it. I think it takes confidence to know what you do have and do not have going for you. This is not an insecurity because it doesn't stop me from taking action. But I'm aware it's a weakness that might not make some women as receptive. It's all self awareness.
And yes, when I ask about the major I really do want to know because, what if we are doing the same major or taking the same classes? That can be a great segue into building commonalities.
But as I said before, to each his own
[–]theforgeproject 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Everything you just said, validated all that I said.
You’re afraid of women and are afraid of what they think of you. You walk around believing you’ve got an unattractive trait that every girl notices. Having this thought about yourself knocks you down a peg even before you’ve started any talking. You literally called it a weakness. This belief will hamper you because beliefs dictate behaviors. If you care so much about this she will sense it.
You don’t care about her major. That’s a lie. How do I know this? Because if she wanted to jump on your dick right away but her major was something stupid or unrelatable, you’re not gonna deny her your time, are you. No, you’d take her to your dorm or apartment and smash.
Indirect game comes from insecurity. It puts up all this superfluous crap in front of the interaction that’s dead weight. Getting to know her isn’t going to make or break the deal. Who you are will.
The time you went direct blew up in your face not because you were direct but because you don’t know how to be direct. You likely don’t have a mouthpiece and likely don’t have the ability to turn on a woman with your words. This is why your one direct approach failed. You didn’t make her feel anything. Women go where their feelings lead them. If a guy knows what he wants and is skilled at reading and leading her then she’ll most likely follow.
It sounds to me that you aren’t into seduction but rather are interested in finding a girlfriend instead. Taking a gentle approach to finding the right one and perhaps dating one after another rather than having three to four girls on a roster that you are vetting.
But picture this and tell me if this wouldn’t be a better vision: you learn some real game. You get in touch with your masculinity and sexuality. You chat up girls from time to time (because women are not a priority to you) and you turn them on with your words. Occasionally you sleep with a couple of them and it’s really good bc you’ve also become an adept in the bedroom. But you don’t hold onto these women and let them be free to make their own choices. However, the bond is genuine. Caring but free. No expectations for them. Then because it’s a small school and girls talk, you’ve got girls hitting you up on social or in irl, trying to get a piece of your time and that dick. Ok. That’s cool but you’re vetting right now and if they are ok with that you’ve got time on Monday night and Thursday afternoon.
Doesn’t that sound like a much better situation young man?
[–]Smugdemeanor 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol I like this guy. Looks like I have much to learn. And you're right in that I tend to be more of a one at a time kind of guy than a plate spinner. But you've definitely given me a lot to think about
My last though would be: how does one learn the art of turning a woman on with ones words?
[–]theforgeproject 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Now you’re getting somewhere. Time to do research and also get in touch with your sexual nature. Allow the thoughts and express them with your words. Compliments without strings is an easy place to start. You don’t want her approval or even thanks.
Go on YouTube and watch how Craig Ferguson talks to his female guests. Also check out Russell Brand and his flirtation style. Two key things both of these guys have are: 1) not being afraid to talk about sex and sexy topics/tone. 2) they speak to amuse themselves. Once you realize this game is all about you, a light will switch on.
Oh and stop using dumb PUA terms like “spinning plates”. You’re talking to a number of women. A note about that: In doing this you speed up your decision making process. Looking for a cupcake? Wouldn’t it make more sense to get a whole bunch of samples to taste all at once, vs finding one cupcake at a time, spending months eating the majority of it and then finding another to taste? If you want to talk strategy, the first option is a better use of time, which is a mans greatest resource and commodity.
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[–]skullirang 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Smugdemeanor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cowvin26 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Smugdemeanor 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]theforgeproject 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smugdemeanor 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]theforgeproject 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smugdemeanor 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]theforgeproject 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smugdemeanor 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]theforgeproject 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link