Asking her for a drink = Clear intention ??

jamesfalken · 2025-07-06T15:23:26+00:00

You did fine, you made your intentions clear (a man asking a woman out for a drink is clearly making a move). The outcome (her being unavailable) isn’t going to change because you went about it a different way.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-06T16:17:46+00:00

Are you hitting on her or not? Are you showing sexual desire or just acting nice? It seems like you jsut talk to her in a platonic way, where you never show any sexual desire, then suggest to meet again, and assume that is gonna be a date, when your behaviour is making it clear that you are just connecting as a friend, so she treats it as a hangout.

Alternatively, it could also be that she sees the first meetup as a date, but your behaviour during the date, is platonic, and so even if she has a good time with you, it's no different than haing a good time with your sibling or a buddy.

There is no sexual tension, so she makes it clear that she sees you as a friend, because you are not acting like a lover, you are acting like a buddy.

You are not showing your hornyness, you are not showing your desire, your are being too respectful and treating her in teh exact same way you could treat your sister. No kissing attempt, no sexual innuendos, no sexual expressions of desire, no body lanugage that shows you fancy her...

Just netural, friendly, respectful, safe behaviour.. Just hugs, shaking hands, interview mode, and no risks at all during the date.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-07-06T18:03:54+00:00

Most women do understand going for drinks one on one is a date (aka to vet romantic interest). But I'm usually very direct/assertive so I take it a step further to make my intentions very clear.

Compliment their looks first before proposing drinks. In your situation where you've already established some rapport over an activity you do together, "Hey sorry if this is too forward, but I just think you're absolutely gorgeous and I'd love to get to know you better. How'd you like to grab a drink after this?"

This way you've made your intentions very clear. You have no interest in platonic friendship and she damn well knows it's a date.

bafun13 · 2025-07-06T15:11:11+00:00

Stop focusing on dates lol, prior communication is so much more important

Dandys3107 · 2025-07-06T17:47:08+00:00

Generally your actions should dictate your intentions, not words. In my opinion context is very clear, if you are feeling confused about her attitude, maybe she wasn't sure how she feels about you, she decided to just test the waters and maybe your date didn't trigger proper feelings in her so she came up with some safe excuse. Don't think in 0 and 1 in terms of relations, it can very much stay little vague and uncertain, if she lets you escalate in terms of physical intimacy then she is clearly sexually attracted to you, words are not needed for confirmation.

Big_Accountant8489 · 2025-07-06T17:26:34+00:00

How did you ask her out the first time? What did you say? How was your energy? And most important, why did you ask her again to go out?

She should have had such a good time that she asked for YOUR number and expressed wanting to hang out with YOU again.

The thing you guys get wrong especially in the beginning is that when asking a woman out, it should NEVER sound like a date.

Women don’t wanna feel like “Crap is he asking me out on a date? I don’t even know if I like him yet…😬, I don’t wanna be rude and turn him down but I also don’t wanna put myself in an uncomfortable situation by saying yes 😬 “

When she thinks it’s a date, all of a sudden she gets stressed out especially if she isn’t comfortable with you yet. The boyfriend thing is a non issue, trust me. If she thinks you’re interesting enough to be around, that won’t even come up and she’ll happily accept.

I don’t know how you approached or what was said but you messed up some where

Title	Asking her for a drink = Clear intention ??
Author	KosloveKoslovich
Upvotes	13
Comments	12
Date	July 6, 2025 3:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lt3hyp/asking_her_for_a_drink_clear_intention/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/asking-her-for-a-drink-clear-intention.1556457 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556457

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