Attraction is inherently shallow. What I mean by this is that there are tried and tested methods(or a general formula) that if you follow, will increase your chance of someone being attracted to you.

Makes sense doesn’t it?

There are some boxes that you absolutely MUST checkmark the box if you want to get more girls.

For example, smelling like shit is an immediate attraction killer. It doesn’t matter who you are. So checkmark the box of not smelling like shit

If you’re extremely rude and seem like you hate life. Instant turn off. It doesn’t matter who you are. So checkmark the box of not being rude or a pessimist.

Even petty stuff like being a loud chewer or not shaving COULD be a turn off. It doesn’t matter who you are. So checkmark the box of not doing this.

Etc etc

Do you see how inherently shallow this process of elimination is? It doesn’t matter who the person is, if you fail in one of these crucial categories…she will be sexually turned off by you. And will drop you so easily if she has many options(many girls these days)

So by definition, since everyone has to follow this process or they won’t be attractive, it means that it’s most likely NOT personal when a girl isn’t attracted to you or rejects you.

It’s just a skill that you haven’t yet developed.

It means that you didn’t check ENOUGH boxes or failed to checkmark a box in a crucial area. Which is not like it’s something you can’t change.

Like when you apply to a company and they reject you. They didn’t reject YOU, they rejected the presentation of you or the fact that you didn’t meet some criteria.

Does this make you personally offended? No, it shouldn’t. Because you know it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with your skills which are separate from your worthiness as a human being.

All you have to do is IMPROVE your presentation and LEARN more skills so you can meet the criteria in the future. (They may still reject you, but you improve your chances).

It’s just a skill. And nothing personal.

You can learn to be clean, not rude, have nice manners, etc. In the same way you can learn to speak more confidently, have a assertive aura, dance, be expressive, or be high status.

(note: the more make attention a girl gets, the more boxes she needs to be checked. It’s simple supply/demand economics. Like a great company sorting through countless resumes. They have the power to set high standards. And they can easily drop you if you don’t meet ONE criteria. They’re looking for the best. Why wouldn’t they? But it’s not like you can’t become the best)

We have to start seeing “sexually attractiveness” as a skill and not something intrinsic to your being. Something you can’t change.(the latter would be personal)

There’s nothing spiritual or magical about attraction. Just like there’s nothing magical about becoming a top athlete, CEO, or academic.

You can’t just magically become the best athlete because you’re a “nice guy”, because you give yourself positive affirmations, or because you want it REALLY bad.

No matter how much you want or think you deserve something, if you don’t put in the work, you won’t get it.

It’s a shallow and predictable process. Put in the work to develop the skills, then you will see results. The sport doesn’t care about how much of a good person you are or how much you “deserve something.”(cause it’s not personal).

You can be a piece of shit human and if you follow the process of ‘how to become a great athlete’, you can become great.

If you follow the outlined process, you will succeed. Skills only care about competence not about morality.

So why would seduction be any different?

Apply the same reasoning to seduction

You see a hot chick. “I hope she will love ME for ME.” or “I hope she can feel how attracted I am to her. It’s only fair if she reciprocates.” Thoughts like this are you thinking that attraction is magical. And not a skill.

And luckily seduction is a skill. Because like with any skill ever, it’s LEARNABLE.

So rejection or failure is inherently not personal

It’s just that you didn’t properly follow or execute the process. So she’s not attracted. It’s that simple. Nothing more. Get better.

Or maybe you didn’t properly execute but she’s still not attracted. Okay, who cares?? At least you increased your chances of success. There’s still many other fish in the sea. There’s always a component of luck to it.

There’s no such thing as an inferior or unworthy human. Because if we all develop the skills, we will succeed. Skills don’t discriminate based on who you are(personal), but based on your current COMPETENCE.

The issue is that people don’t see attracting the opposite sex as a skill. They see it as a mark of how worthy they are.

They have a sensitive ego on this topic and see attraction as intrinsic so they don’t see it for what it really is. A skill. So they don’t improve.

It’s weird how being more attractive is the ONLY field where people are complacent and think it’s an immutable part of who they are.

They just want others to accept them for “who they are”. But in all these other fields, nobody just accepts you for “who you are”. You have to put the work in

Besides. Wanting to become sexually attractive is a pretty shallow goal in itself. Our end goal is to literally put our dick in a vagina, shake for a little, and then ejaculate white stuff. Weird.

Why wouldn’t this be a shallow process?

TLDR: Attraction is shallow. There’s nothing spiritual about it. There’s nothing romantic about it. Generally speaking, it’s a very consistent and predictable formula. Just like any other skill