Avoiding geeking out in conversations

derekonomy · 2015-04-17T01:03:06+00:00

I don't know how you are doing it... but, honestly... I spent years lowering to the lowest common denominator. When I suppressed myself, I stop giving people a chance to surprise me. And eventually I developed a dim view of people. Now that I'm over it, I'm much more happier having an intelligent conversation, whenever possible. I would say if they aren't interested, than let it go. If it annoys you that you can't express yourself, then move on. I'm sure there are tons of geeks out there, and you are just in the wrong place.

sedTAsedTA · 2015-04-17T01:08:51+00:00

I think that its great that you speak with enthusiasm. That is something that will make you more interesting and attractive to women if you understand how this helps, and how it can hurt you. The difference is, are you just rambling on at those points? If you begin to dominate the conversation about whatever it is you like, you risk turning people off by not trying to include them at all. No one wants to engage in conversation with a conversation partner who speaks without understanding the idea that conversation works in two directions.

Having passion about something is admirable, and it is probably easier to tone down this enthusiasm than to grow it in someone who isn't expressive. This is a better problem to have if you think about it

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-04-17T05:11:07+00:00

Your goal is not to sustain the conversation and engage in a lengthy dialogue. Many guys get stuck in conversation, they get positive feedback from the woman's responses and just keep seeking validation.

Your goal in conversation is to evoke an emotional response, to incite her passion. Your conversation must lead the seduction forward.

recyclablebantha · 2015-04-17T09:55:23+00:00

I take a lot of interest in science and technology......something will come up in conversation that reminds of something I read about or learned in a class and I'll get excited about telling it to them.

.....people I've just met, I sometimes feel like I lose them when I do this. They start showing signs of disinterest and aren't nearly as enthused as I am.

Right. You're probably right. They are most likely not as enthused about your interests, if they are acting like this. And if you think about it, this makes sense. not everyone has the same level of deep interest in a particular subject.

So when you go off on your tangent like that, without adjusting to the fact that they aren't interested in that..... it's like basically telling them, "I'm here to talk about what I want to talk about and I could care less about you...... in fact, your input has no bearing on this conversation."

What I'm wondering is if the way I add to conversations like this is wrong, or if I'm just talking to the wrong people or what.

If you see any value in interacting with people who don't necessarily share these particular interests, then you ought to focus on actually connecting with them instead of hijacking the conversation. So what you want to do is focus on getting them to talk about themselves. And relate to them in terms of how you feel or think about whatever they are talking about. Shoot for at LEAST half or more of the conversation coming out of their mouth.

Remember, when you are meeting someone new...... it's not about your interests, it's about the new PERSON in front of you. What makes them tick? What are they about? You are there to find that out, not to advocate for how awesome your interests are.

IpickupGrandmothers · 2015-04-17T02:22:21+00:00

What I'm wondering is if the way I add to conversations like this is wrong, or if I'm just talking to the wrong people or what.

It's not "wrong" per se, but it looks like it could use some tweaking. Maybe you're just meeting the wrong people, it's totally possible. But I doubt that's the only (and most relevant) factor.

One thing that strikes me is, are you trying to create an actual connection with them? Or are you just doing a monologue in their presence?

Being passionate about your interests is fucking AWESOME. Seriously. It's how you get people to like you. But the thing is, you still need to engage the other person and create an emotional connection. Not saying y'all gotta fall in love or anything, but she has to be a part of the conversation too.

SexySmexxy · 2015-04-17T03:23:10+00:00

Too many variables for us to give you anything close to a meaningful answer.

We don't have an example of how you converse so how can we tell you what to change?

Theres nothing wrong with being passionate about things, but don't let it dominate a conversation especially if it's not particularly exciting to most people (i.e spinning a pen).

Also don't hog a conversation, and ask questions.

Title	Avoiding geeking out in conversations
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	April 17, 2015 12:19 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/32v9py/avoiding_geeking_out_in_conversations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/avoiding-geeking-out-in-conversations.1386801 https://theredarchive.com/post/1386801

Comments