I saw a post today on Facebook which said something along the lines of “not every guy being nice to you is flirting some of us were raised to be gentlemen”. Honestly I thought it was bullshit and just one of those dumb Facebook posts but it got me thinking.

I feel like “being a gentleman” in the traditional sense when dating or trying to get a girlfriend is pretty clear cut with just not touching the sex and show you’re really there for personality and all that gentleman stuff or whatever. But when it comes to just casual sex or sex based relationships (FWBs) for me at least (just finding my way) it’s not clear as traditionally I feel being a gentleman is mainly based around avoiding the sex part (which is obviously hard when you’re looking for a sex based relationship).

So I’m wondering how do you go about being a gentleman in those types of situations? Does it depend on the girl and if so how do you gauge this with a girl without just being extremely upfront and asking (which doesn’t seem like it would go down well). I understand that some people (male and female) just kinda avoid this stuff, couldn’t care less and go straight to the sex which is fine no judgment but just in terms of differentiating the two different mind sets and what is the expected gentleman behaviour?

I realise some of this might be out of touch because I’m trying to find my way and pretty much all my knowledge is from culture or limited experiences around me that I can’t properly understand. So feel free to correct me and I’m just honestly looking for context and interpretation (I know the wording sounds weird but I’m just not too sure how to express what I want$ so even if it doesn’t really answer my question just anything related would be appreciated!