I have a bit of social anxiety, common social rules still confuse me sometime.

So when i want to initiate a conversation with a girl, i keep worrying if it comes of as too needy and i play it safe by not initiating, easier to just reply if someone starts a convo from their end. Some of my friends complain that i stay aloof, but i can't gauge the line between neediness and normal initiation so i play safe. Advice needed.