While shit tests are out there and they can really suck, many things are mis-identified as shit tests. Using shit test tactics in the wrong situation not only leads to ruining your interaction, it can make you bitter. You start to see shit tests everywhere and come to develop some unhealthy views on women and dating. But, by understanding just what is and isn't a shit test, you can have a lot more fun on the dating scene and be a lot more successful.

What is a shit test?

I recognize that there will be some disagreement here, but for purposes of this post, a shit test is a behavior which is designed as a no-win situation with the purpose of facilitating a quick rejection. The most common example is a girl who you've just met asking you to buy you a drink. If you agree, she'll see that you're a doormat, and after taking your drink she'll quickly find someone else to talk to. If you refuse to buy her a drink, she'll think you're a selfish jerk, and are quite possibly too poor to buy a drink. Boom, rejected.

Why would anyone engage in such behavior? Most women don't! Shit tests are actually quite rare, and you're only likely to encounter them in big night clubs where girls might be approached dozens of times in a single evening. In that environment, it helps to have a quick way of getting rid of guys. But why a shit test rather than a polite no thanks? Because our brains tend to like a pretext for getting what we want. Why ask the girl to see your etchings when both of you know that means you want to have sex? Because we just don't come right out and say things. She wants to reject you, but our psychology and social rules make her first want a reason, so she goes with a no-win scenario.

But the main thing to take away from all that is shit tests are rare. Unless you're in a big club or similar environment, assume you're not encountering a shit test.

How to deal with shit tests

Other people have written more about this, so I'll keep it quick. Standard answer is "Agree and amplify." She asks if you're gay? Yeup! So gay you could probably fuck her in the ass and not even enjoy it. Of course A&A doesn't always work just because of the form of some shit tests. She asks you to buy her a drink, buying her three drinks is obviously not the way to go. So, my advice is reframe. You take the conversation in the direction you want, rather than just reacting to whatever she says. You're not obligated to respond to a shit test. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

Congruence test

This is where a girl does something to see if your behavior is congruent (true) to your personality, or if it's just a front. If you come in acting like Alpha Man AlphaTM, she might respond by making an overt (though not entirely genuine) sexual advance. The object is to see how you react. If a girl getting sexual makes you suddenly get nervous, you withdraw a bit, you stare at her hand on you, she knows you don't get a lot of action and you're putting on a front.

What distinguishes a congruence test from a shit test is that it's not designed to be no-win. In fact, she is probably hoping that you pass.

So how do you pass a congruence test?

So you're sitting next to a girl in a booth in a midsized night club and you've been running a bit of cocky/funny push/pull with a bit of sexual innuendo, and she puts her hand on your thigh a bit too high up to be normal kino escalation. You think you're being congruence tested. What do you do?

Be congruent. I mean, I could give a step-by-step playbook for how to fake congruence, but rather than memorizing a list of behaviors that confident, experience people have, you should just go out and get more experience and earn that confidence for real. Actual congruence is the best way to pass a congruence test.

Compliance test

This is where a girl asks you to do something because she wants to find out if you'll do it. There isn't any one specific motivation behind compliance tests, so you have to look at the context. A girl you've just met asking you to buy her a drink is in fact a compliance test in addition to being a shit test. She wants to see if you're compliant in order to see if you're a pushover.

However, a girl who you've been talking to for an hour asking you to get her a drink might not be for the purpose of putting you into a no-win rejection procedure. It could be that she's interested and looking for a concrete IOI from you, and buying someone a drink tends to be a strong IOI. You can see how confusing that with a shit test could be a problem. If you do the ol' "I'll buy you something I think you'll like, and you buy me something you think I'll like" bit, then she has not figured out at all if you're in to her. In fact, it might look like you're trying to avoid giving an IOI, which could be an IOD. Whoops.

Compliance testing is also a sort of behavior guys do all the time. Suggesting a venue change is a sort of compliance test; you want to know if she's in to you enough to VC and isolate. Kino escalation is also arguably just a sort of compliance test (that also raises buying temperature).

Last bit of advice

When in doubt, assume it's not a shit test. If the girl is looking for an excuse to reject you, passing the shit test only buys you another minute or two before she throws another obstacle your way. So, failing the shit test isn't really much of a loss. Reacting poorly to a congruence test or compliance test though, that can end up spoiling a good thing. And that can lead to a cycle of thinking shit tests are everywhere and women are the enemy who want nothing more than to shoot you down. Better to assume attraction than to assume cynicism.