Last night was something of a fuck-up for me, and not in the sort of grand, spectacular way that makes it all seem worth it.

I got a terrible vibe from almost every girl I approached, as though the instant they saw me they decided not to talk to me. I was often told to leave or ignored within a minute or two, even if I got them to laugh. A few times I just felt like grabbing them and screaming 'What do you want!'

Seeing TofuTofu, Kumar, and the other BAS guys in action has made me realize that the onus is on me. The few sets that I saw TofuTofu open seemed to want him to stay within seconds, and I was fine talking to girls once someone else had already opened them.

My mental state tends to go into a tailspin and amplify the situation if I see it going badly initially, or if I get stuck for something to say or do, since talking to most girls is like pulling teeth for the first minute or so. I could either work to make myself more unreactive, which is a solitary endeavor, or to improve my approach so that I get more favorable reactions.

I'm not looking for a pity party or commiseration, but for your advice. Those of you who know me, please give me any tips you can on my body language, vocal tonality, and verbals (I know a lot of you, Kumar especially, have done this for me many times, but this is one case where I would be very grateful if you could repeat yourself). Those of you who don't, how do you set yourself up for success on the approach? Specifically, how do you avoid that miniature panic that sets in when you realize you haven't actually thought of something to say after 'Hi, How's it going?'

Thanks a lot guys!

EDIT: Recently, I've stopped drinking when I go out, and I've noticed that this is correlated with the precipitous decline in my ability to approach (N=2).