Long time lurker of this subreddit, here's how I did it and you can do it too!

Everywhere you look, everything you read and everyone you ask always says the one thing; nice guys' finish last. It is a an accurate rhetoric, however, it's not always true.

I used to be insecure as a kid about how I looked and had a very low self-esteem. I still am to some extent, but not so much. My family moved to English speaking country (United Kingdom) when I was 16 so I didn't have that many friends or people that I kicked with. I was your typical immigrant kid, going to school and coming back home and staying in front of the PC all day and playing games such as World of Warcraft. I was addicted to it to say the least, in fact so much I used to play for more than 13 hours a day at some point. You could say I had English-speaking class 101 on WOW voice communication with people from all over the world. I didn't have that many friends, and if I had to break down the number of girls I knew around that time, I would say it was around 3-5 girls and 2 of them were my friend's sister.

As soon as I turned 18, I had the urge to go out, get laid, get a GF and have fun. I started watching pick up videos and reading up /r/askmen and /r/seduction constantly. I read everything that was under the best of all time in this subreddit. It gave me some insight, but I never figured it would work because it sounded so superficial. One thing that was always engraved on my head; be an alpha male and act like a cocky swan. It worked on the videos on YouTube, it could definitely work for me too right? I was wrong. It did more bad than good to me. It made me a conceited, negative and picky idiot. After I had decided to change myself, I use to get seldom glances from girl and some of them would approach me. I ignored all the girls who would come up to me who I deemed unattractive or I wasn't attracted to. Didn't even made an effort to befriend them when they openly would welcome me. In retrospect, it just prolonged my development. As a result, it was hard for me to keep up with girls who I deemed out of my league & attractive. I couldn't flirt or converse with them confidently.

Shortly after I joined university, I started accepting the fact that I'm neither ugly or attractive enough to be a smug prick and get away with it. I posted my picture once on /r/rateme and the most I got was 7, and even I think they were just being generous. I changed my mindset of being alpha to being agreeable and started focusing on how to be a good conversationalist. On the first semester of the university I saw how chilled everyone was and not a single guy that hanged around with large group of girls seemed to be big-headed. They were just laid back and go-with-the-flow type. Calm, friendly, funny - are the words that described these guys. Notice how I didn't put use vain words such as good-looking and attractive? Because they were average looking, just like you and me.

I started talking to guys, yep not girls. At that moment, I was focused on expanding my social circle rather than having sex. Out of 350 people in my class, surely I made couple friends and slowly made progress. Got invited to parties, clubs, night out and all those goodies. I don't know how to say this without sounding smug but this wasn't exactly a good looking crowd and I felt comfortable with them. Surely enough, I made out with couple girls and exchanged numbers, however it never led to sex. I was bit bummed out, but I never complained. Because of not being able to lead a conversation to possible sex outcome, I stopped trying and went back to being me (not quite literally).

I didn't care at this point and said enough is enough, and decided to pick a hobby to get me out of computer game addiction. I picked up skateboarding and became half decent at it. I gradually became more social and comfortable chatting and striking up conversation. I slowly got into fashion and bought a camera and started doing photography. At this point I was doing things that I always wanted to do and I enjoyed life more. I didn't give two cents about chasing tails. I was much more comfortable in my own skin. I could joke, chat and I was just confident in general, and my social circle grew exponentially. I was full of activities and I had no zero days. I would feel uneasy if I didn't do anything in a day and it hit me that I transformed from an insecure introvert to a confident extrovert. Nothing wrong being an introvert, but I like the extrovert me instead of the insecure guy that I once used to be.

3-4 months back I applied for a part-time job in a mid-end fashion clothing company for pocket money and I got called for an interview. It was a group interview with other 20 people. I did my homework on the company and on the interview day I was sat at front, and pretty much answered all the questions they asked to the group. Needless to say, the interview was absolute bomb. I got the job and in that group interview there was an American-born Dutch girl. I didn't even see her until after we were done with the interview and she stopped me on the stairs. A girl who was tall, slim, sassy - typical Dutch girl who was easily 8-9 and would have no problem getting the guys she wanted, stopped me on my tracks. Yes, a girl who is 'supposedly' out of my league stopped me.

I wasn't starstrucked, I wasn't baffled. I just played along and we went to the train station together. It was raining heavily and we were absolutely drenched. I quite enjoyed our little conversation and before departing away I asked for her number without stammering and held my head high. Bear in mind it was raining heavily and she was rushing to get home, but she didn't hesitate a bit to give me her number and was very much delighted. I was kinda surprised by this, because this has never happened to me before.

The next few weeks we were constantly chatting and she asked me to come down to her place to watch 'football.' On that day, I said fuck it and said it's now or never. Made the move and grabbed her by the hips, straight up kissed her. I didn't even had the chance to do kino or any other bullshits, just went in. Did she reciprocate? Hell yes, in fact she was glad I did it because she was going to make the move and was afraid to be rejected.

Lost my virginity to this stunning native English speaking girl who I would perceive out of my league. She's my first GF ever and I honestly have never been happy in my life. Me being from an immigrant family, I'm not loaded and my family are not even close to being as rich as her lawyer family, yet we are still going strong. Believe it or not, I get hit on by girls lot more now, perhaps I project more confidence or it has something to do with laws of attraction,

So all you guys out there who are native English speakers and are 10x better than me in wordplay, if a non-Caucasian immigrant kid snagged a hi-fi gorgeous girl from a very well off family, by all means there is nothing stopping you from approaching the girl you like. I don't think I will have problems with girls anymore and my-self esteem is all time high, why? Because I enriched my personality and took a stab in the dark, hoping for the worse.

Once again, thanks to /r/askmen and /r/seduction for amazing articles and posts. You made me an interesting individual, good conversationalist and a better human-being in general. I strongly advise everyone to read top atricles from these 2 subreddits and hand pick the techniques that suits you the best, this is my testament that it worked so go out there and be unsuccessful, but whatever you do, please don't give up!

tl;dr - Stop looking for the right one and be the right one.