Confidence vs being delusional

UoAPUA · 2016-12-28T00:42:53+00:00

Most people are missing something really important in their understand of confidence. You don't fake confidence until you make it. You can't just express confidence. You have to GAIN it. You have to EARN it and BUILD it. Everyone always wants to skip to cold approaches. They want to learn outer game and then start negging and kinoing. You should develop your innee game before even thinking about how to seduce women. And you don't develop inner game by reading manuals and watching YouTube videos. You develop inner game, and earn confidence, by being the fucking man. You ace your fuckingn classes. You work your ass off and nail that interview. You get that promotion that everybody wanted but they couldn't bring themselves to work for. You bench press 200 lbs and gain 20 lbs of muscle. You learn to play that instrument you always wanted to learn. You visit that place you always wanted. You compete, you train, you practice, and you win. When you start living life like a man who's driven, like a man who wants it all, then you become confident. Not fake confidence. Not the look in the mirror and repeat, "I am confident," type of confidence. Real ingrained confidence. The kind that makes you walk with your head up and shoulders back unconsciously. The kind that makes people look at you and think, "damn, that guy's on a mission." You can neg and palm read your way into a one night stand with a homely chick, and sometimes into a failed marriage with a hot chick. But when you become a prize that any girl should be honored to be with, then people will start perceiving you as awesome, and you'll start having real successful relationships.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2016-12-27T16:16:45+00:00

IMHO, Cold Approach success rates are only 1 in 10, so yes, you will see a lot more rejections then engagements.

That said, why not practicing your Approach on just average people you meet in a day. People in line, cashiers, bouncers, the janitor, approach everyone with a smile and a "how is you day?" in no-risk, no stress, no outcome environments. Engage those that turn to talk back to you. It will happen.

Next, move on to ugly or average girls. Again, do no be outcome dependent. Be friendly, smile, make solid eye contact, give hi-fives, be courageous,...and you will be confident. No risk here, so how can you feel anything but confident!

Do this 1000 times, and it will just be a habit. When you actually see a girl you really want to talk to, approaching her, walking tall, making solid eye contact with a good smile...will be the easy part.

IWriteForGroupies · 2016-12-27T16:20:06+00:00

The problem is you think you know. You don't

its clear that girls they try to approach, have no interest to engage. Girls can obviously tell the difference

Unless you are a girl, you will never know. Confidence is more about trying and being sure of what you are doing.

How does one distinguish this fine line? The thing is, I want to try faking confidence, until I make it, but I certainly don't want to look as ridiculous as some of my friends do. Ugh. Please help!

You will never be perfect. You just have to try. Results are better if you try. Sometime you fail on the beginning and win in the end.

sykilik101 · 2016-12-27T18:29:49+00:00

A confident person doesn't tell themselves they're confident, nor do they have to fake anything. Just like a sad person doesn't have to tell themselves they're sad, or an angry person doesn't need to convince themselves that they're angry. They just are, and they know it without questioning it. If someone asked you to talk to a girl and ask her out on a date, you'd have insecurities and anxieties and all that jazz, but if someone asked you to give a thumbs up, you could do it in a second without even questioning it. It's a basic example, but that is confidence.

A confident person doesn't try to be confident, he just is. The trick is that overall confidence is a culmination of confidence in various aspects. When a person is confident in how their hair looks, that one piece adds to his whole sense of confidence. The idea is to find many things you have control of (how you do your hair, dress yourself, act, etc.) and develop confidence in all of those. Then, they'll all add together to your overall confidence, and bam, you're a confident person.

Kitt_55 · 2016-12-27T18:39:36+00:00

Since confidence comes from experience, you may be wondering: “What’s a guy to do who completely lacks any past experiences?” This is where the old phrase “fake it till you make it” holds some truth. While I don’t recommend “faking it,” since it breaks our rules about honesty and can make you appear incongruent, it is still catchier than the more accurate phrase: “Accept your current limitations, but do not let them prevent you from putting yourself in new situations which may allow you to acquire through experience the skills required to be successful.” People who are so called “faking it” are still placing themselves in unfamiliar situations and forcing themselves to either sink or swim. Their ability to survive these situations, regardless of their success, is what grows their core confidence.

-Fundamentals of Female Dynamics (book) by Michael Knight

REDx4 · 2016-12-27T20:04:54+00:00

Confidence is not always a "feeling" its more of the actions you take. If you keep doing "confident" things the feeling will come naturally.

MarioSlice · 2016-12-28T23:29:12+00:00

I think confidence is built and to be able to do that some of us have to take different approaches. Some have life coaches, therapy and so on. But, idk about you but all that makes me feel like i have a "problem" which i don't feel it is. So, I found this app that's called CHARLY that you can find girls (or even guys) to talk to for relationship advice and to help me build my confidence since it is a Direct messaging and Video Calling app. So, since I don;t like to feel stupid when meeting a girl for the first time doing it through the app makes me gain that confidence I need.

Have you heard of it?

Title	Confidence vs being delusional
Author	James_chessman
Upvotes	5
Comments	14
Date	December 27, 2016 3:47 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5kkb95/confidence_vs_being_delusional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confidence-vs-being-delusional.1417688 https://theredarchive.com/post/1417688

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