Confused

OpinionThink481 · 2026-03-11T04:51:53+00:00

Whoever taught you that you needed to apologize for existing or for not preemptively saving women from yourself needs to be locked up.

You dont have a duty to shrink yourself, over-apologize, seek constant permission, or act deferential just for taking up space, showing up around women’s sight, having opinions, doing what you want, leading, asserting boundaries, or to act like your presence around women or your masculinity is inherently burdensome/problematic.

It’s not your job to self police yourself to protect women from you as if your mere existence or company was some type of potential risk that you need to protect her from.

You dont have yo walk on eggshells, preemptively diminishing yourself or say shit like:

“sorry if this comes off creepy,” “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”

Or assuming any assertion of your desires is aggressive because thats the opposite of confidence and strength; it’s self-erasure to avoid being seen as “the bad guy.

Masculinity is not a hazard that requires mitigation, and you need to stop apologizing for being a man.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-03-11T08:41:00+00:00

Heck yeah bro!!! If you're a seducer, coming across as creepy is just a normal Tuesday.

You can only do so much to show intention while not coming across as creepy. Approaching and hitting on women comes with the inherent risk of creeping women out. You can only avoid it so much, because plenty of women are just generally creeped out by strange men approaching them.

I can also tell from your post you care too much what others think about you. You have to become ok with being seen as creepy. Be okay with f-ing it up. When it happens, just keep approaching someone else. Keep on moving

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-03-11T06:21:08+00:00

You lost the momentum when you left. The other guys stepped in. Ofc she's going to find the people she's talking to most recently more interesting because she isn't heavily invested in you yet. When you didnt reignite the interest by re-entering the group and being unfazed & high value, she now directly contrasts you as lower value vs the other guys. Hence the unfollow.

ok_potato_2529 · 2026-03-14T04:01:49+00:00

That's what meeting irl be like lol

FlowingMagic · 2026-03-11T07:28:56+00:00

Pffffff

well your problems : lack of social awareness (she was not interested all that much, you should have known that by the micro cues she must have left out and that are missing in your story

anyway, to me, yeah you were creepy, at least creeping her out

you def come out as obsessive and low status, which is sadly a pretty accurate representation if reality

As for the fix well ;

for you specifically you need smaller moves

small, tiny, positive social wins over the long term is important for you

you also need to pay more attention to people, look at them, and the things they do... is a lot communicated there

second bar thing is already weird / off standart procedures of the cool guys

anyway

you need to calm down 1st this all making you very nervous seems to me youre willing to lie to yourself to avoid ego hits too

you being into her a whole lot and her not reciprocating is gonna make both feel terrible

the lesson here was let go sooner, and the instagram follow was seen by you as much more than what it was, which was proven to you very quickly

Title	Confused
Author	Aggravating-Menu-751
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	March 11, 2026 4:03 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rqjjtq/confused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confused.1575207 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575207

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