TLDR: Just answer the two questions at the bottom if you want to skip the text

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Hi guys ive been visiting this rabbit hole for a few years now, and it helped me relate to people better, be it in terms of seduction or friendly socialization.

For reference, I think I am moderately attractive, 5'10" 160 lbs (but pretty muscular and lean). I have been pretty terrible with people most of my life just cause i didnt really bother with socialization and was in my own little world. Im much better these days and can socially like a regular guy or even a little better. So as a result most of my "seduction successes" have been inorganic save for a couple (Ive been with 13 women so far, 11 from tinder which i dont use anymore, 1 from a house party (she made it easy) and lastly this summer fling with this one chick that actually cold approached me at a bookstore and chatted me up. Anyways, its only recently ive started living in the moment and realized that putting all this pressure on how things should work out was causing me anxiety and not helping me.

Since im neurotic and was very interested in body language, i can identify most of the classic tell tale signs if someone is interested(like body positioning, eye contact, etc). I am also very visual in nature so I guess I always try and look for signs if someone is interested (which is probably not the efficient way) like eye contact. But im not staring them down, or being leery.

I often have two puzzling encounters often which I cant understand in regards to eye contact. Are these good or bad? :

  1. Sometimes I lock eyes with a cute girl im attracted to, like when im walking around, and we stare into each others eyes for about 5-7+ secs or more( feels like an eternity). But both are faces are neutral almost like we are both suppressing any emotion(atleast i am cause im being a pussy) from showing on our faces and she ends looks down or sideways(rare). Again no smile, its a mexican standoff, like two deers staring into a headlight, emotionless. I find that this usually happens with conventionally very attractive girls.
  2. This is specific to the service industry, i dont hit or waitresses or anything. If i come in a group, sometimes it feels like Im being ignored. Recently i went to grab dinner with a buddy and the hostess barely made any eye contact with me, just made some small talk and seated us down and the waitress spoke to my friend first for any answers and then she would look at me for confirmation. Later my friend told me I was being daft, and that the hostess was into me, as she would look at me when i wasnt looking and look away when i was looking at her. is this a cat and mouse game that some girls play?