Crippling anxiety and cringe after approaching

cashjake · 2016-05-22T10:23:25+00:00

In all my experiences in life, just when you're ready to quit is just before it gets better. Hold on.

sameboatbro · 2016-05-22T21:11:29+00:00

Hey man, I just wanted to say I was very much in the same boat when I started approaching-early 20's, very little experience with women, years of social anxiety that I was getting over. It took me a long time (and is still an ongoing process) to unravel all the insecurities I had revolving around women. Two major pieces of the puzzle that I hope you find helpful:

1) Do not actively try to impress women: If you had very little experience with women like I did, you will make a lot of effort in your interactions to keep them around. Especially because you’ve never kept women around you, you will constantly think you're doing something wrong, and try harder. Do the opposite. Relax, don’t force the conversation, and just be very friendly. You can leave a lot of space in the conversation, and if you don’t know what to say, just stare at her and smile. Clear out everything in your mind besides the present moment. Contrary to what a lot of literature found online might suggest, your job is just to show up and convey that you’re interested; it’s definitely not to entertain her or to bombard her with random statements.

2) Give yourself permission to be a flirt: It’s natural to be attracted to women and to want to talk to them, even though most people learn to repress those feelings. Likewise, it’s perfectly fine to be seen chatting up multiple girls at the same time. In fact, women, when they young, are constantly telegraphing signals and flirting. To get good, you need to be comfortable with flirting just as a normal part of the exchange of energy between people. The whole thing is hilarious, playful, and sometimes just plain awkward. Nothing to be ashamed of.

The less experience you have, the harder it is to advance. If you're anxious around people in general, definitely make a lot of effort to improve on that as well. If you wanna chat more, hit me up. Good luck, don't give up!

lawdandskimmy · 2016-05-22T08:47:16+00:00

I also imagine how if someone would videotape my ridiculous interactions and attempts at PUA it would be put on cringe subreddit and the whole of Reddit would be writing judging and belittling comments. I'm already 24 years old and I have no real proof of female validation so there is like something huge missing from my life. I have to do it, but it seems like acting properly in social situations just seems so overwhelming. Knowing the theory just does not seem to help at all, but make me feel like there is so much I have to be able to do, but I just can't.

opelmanz · 2016-05-22T13:55:01+00:00

Are your "attempts" all at a bar or nightclub? Either way, try to add more approaches in your everyday life. Talk to random women everywhere you go, preferably attractive ones, and not always with the intention of "closing the deal".

lawdandskimmy · 2016-05-22T10:14:28+00:00

Darn, I really hoped someone would comment and tell me that everything is okay.

NTSpike · 2016-05-22T16:44:58+00:00

I can relate to everything that you're saying, but honestly dude, you need to make correcting your negative self talk your number one priority. Anytime you catch yourself doing it you need to stop and forgive yourself. Nobody is going to accept you if you can't accept yourself. You don't have to be happy with failure, but you need to stop cutting yourself down. Let others do the rejecting. You're all you have, and you should be on your own team.

Title	Crippling anxiety and cringe after approaching
Author	lawdandskimmy
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	May 22, 2016 8:27 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4khrgu/crippling_anxiety_and_cringe_after_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/crippling-anxiety-and-cringe-after-approaching.1307707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1307707

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