Decided to use a little disqualification in OKC, wanted to share it with the community at r/okcupid. Someone mentioned "negging." Hilarity ensued.

Parasthesia · 2013-04-17T16:47:25+00:00

I don't think this post is particularly useful or informative to this subreddit.

Pugilanthropist · 2013-04-17T15:36:30+00:00

Now, reading through what I wrote, sure I come across as a little "bitter" and "frustrated." But hey, it's online dating. I much prefer the in-person variety.

And, in retrospect, that whole "ladies, what do you have to say for your gender" line is pretty crass. It's really playing off the meta of the way girls whine about finding Mr. Perfect on there and guys can't even get a message, but out of context, looks like garbage. I'll admit that.

But it's fascinating how in this "we still believe in romance" community that exists over at that sub, this blew up into such a firestorm. I thought it might be worth sharing with you to get reactions as well.

Edit:

Don't want to spam Seddit, so here's the post, copy pasted;

Disclaimer: I haven't had one iota of success with OKCupid. I've tooled around with my profile, I've added pictures of me "actually doing stuff," and I've messaged countless women with "trying to be charming 2-sentence answers" and gotten a statistically low number of replies, none of which from any girl that I would ever approach in the real world.

So in short, I think it's a crock of shit.

And consequently, I've decided to use it just as a social experiment now, just testing various things and see how they make human beings react (or don't, as the case might be). And I've found something truly disturbing.

Two days ago, I messaged a girl that I found interesting and teased her about her job. She reacted. She reacted like a house on fire. Using profanity in her first response to me. So I teased her a second time, and she reacted again instantaneously!

"Well, this is interesting," I sez to myself. "I wonder if this was the exception or the rule."

So I decided I would send out more insulting messages. And lo and behold, I got a response every time. And some of these responses were instantaneous!

Here's one example:

Me: "First lesson of being a writer ... you can't list the Hunger Games as one of your favorite books. That's like listing Couples Retreat as your favorite movie and saying you're an aspiring actor."

Her: "Thank you for taking the time to read the details of my profile. I'm surprised that you would make a connection between what I choose to read & my "aspirations" to be a writer. Just fyi, I'm not an aspiring writer; I have been told (and humbly agree) that I am a good writer. My writing talents (or supposed writing talents to you), to which I briefly alluded, have nothing to do with what literature I choose to digest in my free time. I am simply answering questions that okcupid has thrown at me, and for you to criticize what I have listed is overly scrutinizing and trivial. "

That's the longest message I've ever gotten on OKC! I mean, good lord, she put some time into that message!

Now it may not be possibly the most productive response, but I've found what elicits reaction in women: negative stimuli.

Let me assure you, I would much rather send a two sentence message about how we share the same taste in metal music, or mention to a girl that I think it's so cool she likes the same movies as I do, or that I'd love to get her input on how to make "holy guacamole." That's very much who I really am. I mean, I can be a snarky asshole, but if you ask anyone from my professional or personal life, at my heart, I'm a nice guy. Too nice, really. That's why I spend so much of my life volunteering and working on social causes.

But I'm also an analytical pragmatist, and I go with what works. And ladies, sorry, but you're apparently more receptive to the douchiest of comments than actually trying to create a connection. That's both hilarious and, as this title implies, unimaginably sad.

So, ladies, what exactly do you have to say for your gender? I know, this is an unscientific experiment, and if I'd sent something witty and sweet to these particular girls, I would have had a wonderful response and gone out on a lovely date with the future mothers of my illegitimate children, right? Bullshit. I don't believe that for a second.

I said yesterday that women were ruining themselves through OKC. I think my latest experiment shows how right I was.

The more interesting part is really the discussion going on in that forum, though. That's why I was trying to link to that.

Title	Decided to use a little disqualification in OKC, wanted to share it with the community at r/okcupid. Someone mentioned "negging." Hilarity ensued.
Author	Pugilanthropist
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	April 17, 2013 3:32 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1cjcjf/decided_to_use_a_little_disqualification_in_okc/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/decided-to-use-a-little-disqualification-in-okc.1350802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350802

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