Why hello again, Seddit!

I got a fairly good response to my last recount of my carousing, including some folks who said it actually helped them, which is exactly the reason why I wrote the thing in the first place. Consequently, I figured I owed you guys another one and also for selfish reasons: it's helpful for me to analyze what I did well, what I could have done better, and if I can help some other poor recovering schmuck like myself skip a few steps on the PUA ladder, I consider it a mitzvah.

Anyways, without further ado ...

The Story So Far ...

For those who didn't catch the initial foray, this is me: average frustrated chump par excellence. Late bloomer, no model in the looks department, but I'm not the Elephant Man, with severe social handicaps from my upbringing. As you may recall, I had just begun to crack the code on approaching, finding the pleasure in spontaneous, situational openers, appreciating the themes of never assuming and just pushing myself to close. Well, in the past few weeks, I have certainly not overcome all these hurdles(as this story will show), but I like to think I've made substantial progress on all fronts as well.

I mean hell, as I sit here and type this in the coffee shop, I just let a girl who mentally sodomized me with her eyes walk by without saying a damn thing. So there's still obviously a decent stretch of road ahead before I get to where I want to be.

Moving on.

Last night was a great step forward.

It started by meeting up with my buddy Z.

Winners Surround Themselves With Winners

I meant to talk about this in the previous story, but that thing got so long it was starting to approach a Tolkein novel, so I cut it out. However, I want to address a quick point on whom you should associate yourself with. Z is the perfect wingman. He's a little older than me, he recently completed a life coaching program, he looks completely unassuming and downright nerdy, and all this makes him an excellent mentor. Because he's not tall, and he doesn't have an accent, and he's not built like an Abercrombie Fitch model, he inspires me. I think to myself "wow, if he can go approach a girl that looks like that, I have no fucking excuse at all." And as a result, I up my game.

But here's the most important quality to Z. He likes to pursue women. I have noticed that on nights when I don't have a high degree of success, it's because I haven't set myself up to win. I haven't created a winning scenario. Now, there is an element of making the best of a bad situation, and that will play into this story later on, but I find there are common ingredients to a good night: an active and playful mental state, a target rich environment, and like minded compatriot(s). Previous nights, when I've gone out to chase women, and I'm with guys that think that means sitting around a pool table for three hours straight, I find that, shock of shocks, I don't really chase women.

Which, don't get me wrong, is fine. If that's not what you're trying to do. But if you're trying to chase women, then find people that like to chase women.

Back to the story.

Z and I went to meet up with another former student of this life coaching program at a local bar. The bar used to be a West Hollywood hot spot, but as is often the case in the City of Angels, what's cool last month is not what's cool this month, so when we got there, it was pretty dead. Nonetheless, I saw a group of girls at the bar, so as we ordered drinks I stuck up conversation with them.

Establish Social Momentum

I learned this concept on this subreddit, and I find it really helps me get my night rolling. The idea is this: unless you're a pro, or you've got incredible confidence (neither of which describe me at this moment), you're going to feel nervous talking to girls, and you'll probably have some marbles in the mouth in your first interactions of the evening. Moreover, if you let yourself get in your head and avoid opening the first set you see, you're going to develop a degree of what I call "social inertia." An object at rest stays at rest, that sort of thing. And the longer you wait in the evening to get yourself going, the harder it will be. So what's the solution? Open early and open often.

You do this, and now you find you're far more social in general.

How often do you see the advice "talk to everyone and anyone" on this subreddit? Well, the reason is because you're setting a social paradigm in your own subconscious, that you just feel comfortable talking to people, anyone, and that is what allows you to open women naturally.

At any rate, I had a 15 minute conversation with these girls, but I didn't find myself that attracted to any of them so I let it die, ejected gracefully and we moved on to another venue: Churchhill.

Find the Right Playing Field

For those of you not in the Los Angeles area, Churchhill is my least favorite kind of scene: lots of big mixed groups, uber attractive people of both genders, and goddamn if all of them don't work in "the industry." Now, this is definitely a riddle I need to crack the code on, because if you live in Los Angeles, and you're attractive, there's a nine out of ten chance you work in the industry. And if you work in the industry, typically you want to associate with people in the entertainment field, if just for networking purposes. For a person of average height, average attraction, and a career nowhere near the film or TV world, this creates a barrier of access. Now, I fully admit that that barrier may just be a creation of my mind, a limiting belief, but so much of seduction seems to be a way of getting out of your own way, moving past your limiting beliefs to allow you to exceed your own previous expectations.

This plays back into that mix that creates for a good night: a target rich environment. Well, I like to take it one step further and shoot for target rich environments that provide opportunities to create natural openers. Many bars have exactly that sort of set-up: they have a large congregating area where people stand around in small clusters, booths for isolation, and a large approach zone to the bar. Because of the architecture in Churchill, for me, none of these things seem to be in play there. Now, again, perhaps this is me overthinking the crap out of this thing, but honesty is key to seduction, and honestly, I'm an analytical guy.

At any rate, I spotted a few sets of girls, none of which were extremely approachable in my eyes: really pretty girls, two or three well dressed handsome guys with them, laughing, taking pictures, being extremely social with each other. I opened one pair of Texan cuties who were sitting at a table, but the entire interaction felt forced and awkward. Shocker of shockers ... they worked at production companies: Warner Brothers and Disney respectively. After half-heartedly trying to get them to Foxy Box with each other over rival comic properties, the conversation turned to Disney Princesses and I ejected.

Following that, I opened a beautiful, extremely tall, girl who just happened to work for NBC. Sensing a pattern, here? She was pulled away by her group, I later tried to re-open her when I saw her sitting down, chatting away excitedly with one of her friends. But the timing was terrible as another friend came to their table at the exact same moment, and my arrival wasn't even noticed. I slunk away.

LESSON: DO NOT FORCE INTERACTIONS

I think that these incidents prove something that I'd gotten away from, which is that sometimes, you need to be a little patient. It's a tricky balancing act, because I definitely don't want to fall into the AFC habit of "waiting for the perfect moment," but I think I need to heed my situational awareness a tiny bit to at least recognize when are moments that just won't be fruitful vs. moments that may be a challenge, but are still an opportunity.

Well, after these two less than fruitful moments, I was discouraged, and I started to get down on myself. I could feel my tiredness creeping into me. It had been a very long week.

Make the Best Out of a Bad Situation

But my friends had other ideas. As I left the tall stunner from NBC, I saw Z had worked his way into a conversation with a cute girl who looked like a young Lara Flynne Boyle, whom I had seen walk in with another pair of guys. Now, this pair of guys was standing around, looking like a couple of ridiculous AFCs as Z very nonchalantly wound Lara up like a toy doll. I later found out that the two guys were Lara's cousin and his best friend, neither of which she was remotely interested in (possibly due to their "AFC-ness") and which I should have just gone for. Never assume. One day I'll learn. I mean it.

His friend that we had come to meet, we'll call him Y, saw this, shrugged, summoned his inner confidence and approached a pair of Persian girls and was starting conversation with the two.

And here I was, standing with a half drank Jack and Coke in my hand, awkwardly making conversation with a pair of friends whom we'd randomly run into this evening.

Well that shit ain't gonna fly, I said to myself.

So I went up and decided I would wing Y.