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[–]MO_drps_knwldg 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Agree with most, but don’t agree that it’s just for logistics. Especially nowadays, texting can be used for light banter to build comfort, but you’re correct about not being too available. Be friendly, succinct, have a little light banter, but focus on getting to know them in person.
[–]runaround_fruitcop 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As a woman 100% sometimes dudes literally only hit us up to try and fuck. And even if I'm not looking for anything serious it's nice to feel talked to occasionally just because they enjoy your banter/chit chat or care a little about your day
You don't have to go Oprah Winfrey and deep dive, but it's a fun and easy way to stay in touch and sends the message "even if we are actually only having sex, I respect you enough as a person to maintain this relationship until we both get what we want"
[–]caesarfecit 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here would be my Ten Commandments of Text Game:
Text with a purpose. You don't have to be super direct, but you need to know in your head what you're trying to accomplish. Otherwise you'll be there at 2 am hearing about her day.
The goal of all text game is to set up dates. Do not fool yourself into thinking you can pick up a girl over text. Not because it can't happen but because it's bad game. Set up the date and flirt with her IRL.
Mirror her response times. Just a good rule of thumb. If she's taking longer than a few hours to reply, put her on the back burner.
End the conversation first. Leave her wanting more, just pick an opportune moment while not dipping at the very first opportunity.
For online dating, use an opener that gets her to respond. An individualized cold read based off her profile works best.
Flirt just enough to get her invested and chasing. Sometimes in text game, you'll find yourself compelled to run a little game (like say on Tinder). Remember that all you need to do is give her a reason to see you.
Be sexual, but don't be horny. The secret to being sexual around women is to not hold back, but do not express direct intent towards her. Get the difference? Crack jokes and talk about what you like, but not what you'd like to do to her. If you must talk about her sexually, do so in an ironic or sarcastic fashion so you still have a fig leaf of disinterest.
Be detached. Guys fuck up text game by getting fixated on it. Girls use text game to flirt with guys from a position of safety. As a result, the harder you try, the further she retreats into her castle. Be detached and recognize that if she wants to see you, she'll come out to play.
Never chase validation. If she goes radio silent or doesn't reciprocate your flirtation, just move on. The rule with text game is to keep it moving and raise the tempo with playfulness and distance. Getting needy or emotional runs counter to that.
Never ask for nudes. Girls should be sending you nudes to get your attention. Asking for them turns her into a thot and you into her simp. But never fail to show appreciation when she does send pics because she is implicitly working for your approval.
Remember that text game is bullshit time-filler. Girls are playing for keeps when they meet up with you.
[–]JourneyToBeKing 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These are really solid rules. They are really similar to what I come up with through the first 2 years of my PUA experience.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JourneyToBeKing/comments/va592s/rules_of_text_game_gathered_from_pua_gods/
Do you have similar notes for other social event types? Like how to approach new people or what to do at a night game situations? I am really interested in gathering well thought summed-up experiences.
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good rule of thumb guide, especially for newbies. That being said, I don't follow the "texting only for logistics" rule and it works out much better for me than if I did. I obviously don't go overboard either, but I just don't think about it and text her as much as I feel like, as if she was a friend of mine.
Granted, I text using IG so the dynamic is a little different with stories and stuff.
[–]Ok_Ad_367 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Solid rules, I agree with most of them. There is a channel on youtube Playing with Fire where the guy teaches text game (mostly for online dating).
Lately his advice isn´t the best but he had old videos on how to be persistent without beign needy, how to ask a giel out on a date in text, and what to do if she gives you shit tests or is flaking.
Those 3 things that I learned from him helped me increase my OLD success a lot
[–]aliceivy90 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sorry, but making a girl wait we see through that. Reply when you can/want and it will run much smoother.
[–]caesarfecit 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a general rule, that's the best thing. When I'm texting a girl, I want the tempo of the conversation to get faster. That means she's invested in the conversation and enjoying herself. Deliberately stalling to reply does the opposite of that, and only really works on low-self-esteem girls who think one-sided infatuation is "falling in love"
[–]Ok-Pomegranate-3603 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Y’all are superficial. Real men are honest and direct. Good luck having a real and meaningful relationship. I’m not saying it’s not OK to just want sex. Stop with the mind-play. Why would you be attracted to someone who is dumb enough to fall for your BS?
[–]schwar29 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of initial attraction is physical, and I don't know about others in the sub but I'm not looking for a relationship. I'd assume 90% of guys are meeting women online and learning how to text gives you a huge advantage over the majority of "Hey, what's up?" men.
[–]runaround_fruitcop 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe, text when you want. Say what you need. The other person will follow suit if they like you and are on the same page
If you don't lead the flow of conversation then the other person will have nothing to follow.
Everyone needs emotional care even when just fucking. Before, during and after and none of it has to be romantic.
Most of this stuff is common sense for people with good social skills and experience, but this subreddit is not just for the socially well-adjusted. If anything it's for the guys who are trying to get out of their mom's basement and need to be told not to be needy, not to blow up her phone etc.
You want honest and direct? The message you are giving guys trying to get better is completely counterproductive, judgmental, and hypocritical. It says far more about you than it does about anyone else.
So project harder, we all know that women sit around and have girl pow-pows or swap screenshots about the exact same kind of things we're discussing here.
[–]runaround_fruitcop 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah. So many people have too many rules on texts. It's so annoying and makes it so stress inducing when it should be easy and fun. If you have to play these games with a person
They. Don't. Like. You. Like. That.
Imo it's best to find people who match your texting/communicating style versus conforming to theirs constantly.
I personally like to text occasionally, friends, family, and literally anyone I know, once in awhile to check up, see if anything is new. I genuinely give af about what people do or are up to and how they are soing, even if they are people I was and or am casual with.
I read some dudes talking about how they don't wanna hear the girl talk about her day... like bruh. If it gets you somewhere, just be a gentleman and listen.
It's like God forbid you have to listen to a person talk to get anywhere with them in a respectful way.
[–]purple_legion 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most. Women. Don’t. Like. Men. Like. That.
They only like the top 20% the rest of men have to use whatever things we have to get a womans attention. Women don’t settle
[+]Consistent_Ad11002 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a young women that has her fair share of dating experiences, guys please hear me out.
"When you meet with her later, the point is to have sex. That's the way it is."
That is not the way.
"don’t get attached to one girl until she climbs into bed with you. Keep your eyes on the prize, and that prize is getting laid." "Glide effortlessly towards having some boner-inducing fun."
If this is your end goal, PLEASE STOP TEXTING GIRLS. Setting up a date does NOT mean sex. Do not go and set up dates for the sole purpose of having sex with a girl. This is a waste of everyone's time. If you're looking for one night stands, be upfront about about. More than half of the girls will reject you right then and there.
"She gets 20 texts every fucking day from dudes who want the same thing as you." Which is exactly why you shouldn't be texting girls in the first place. Don't you see what's wrong here?? All of these stupid idiots are only reaching out to her because of sex. Do you want to be one of those stupid idiots wasting her time?
"Be a leader. A confident, dominant leader. Nothing is more desirable to a woman than a guy who makes shit happen. "
Lets say you're goal is a realist relationship and not sex and you guys are about to go on your first date. Things are going well and you want to make a move to show your affection for her. Go one step at a time and watch her signals. Let's say you start kissing her neck. How is she reacting? Most guys can't ever read non verbal cues correctly so go ahead and use your words. Ask her, "is this okay?" "do you like that I'm doing this?" If she says yes then you're in the clear. If she says no or doesn't say anything at all, please stop immediately, create some distance between yourselves and apologize. If she doesn't say anything it means you've made her afraid and uncomfortable. NO MEANS NO.
"Never come off as a romantic novelist"
If you're looking for a real relationship, I agree to keep this away from texts, but try it out on when you guys meet in person. Of course, try to keep it genuine, short, and sweet. Some girls really appreciate a romantic and will think about it later.
Additionally, if all you want is sex you could always just hire a prostitute and not have to do any of this nonsense and save everyone's time.
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[–]MO_drps_knwldg 21 points22 points23 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]runaround_fruitcop 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]JourneyToBeKing 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok_Ad_367 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aliceivy90 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Pomegranate-3603 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]schwar29 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]runaround_fruitcop 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]runaround_fruitcop 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]purple_legion 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Consistent_Ad11002 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]caesarfecit 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link