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[–]grindforthegold 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well a lot of girls are like that, they’re just super in their phones and stuff. i’m not a fan of it, i’ve been with both types of girls. i’d definitely rather the type that just doesn’t have much social media or isn’t constantly on it
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should do more activities when you see each other. Go to concerts, museums, hikes, and etc. Look at groupon for ideas or scenestar for concerts. Keep yourselves active. It's really important, especially in new relationships. Take her out a lot.
[–]modsRlameIRL 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You’re spending too much time with her
And you’re not even doing anything, what do you want her to do? Stare into your eyes and play with your hair? Give her something to do
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
1/2 times a week is too much?
My other dates would be intimate hugging kissing etc.
If I initiate she doesn’t seem too interested.
What else do you suggest?
[–]modsRlameIRL 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see girls once every 2 weeks for no reason, and it turns to once a week if I have a reason I.E a movie? Or activity date or something
[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If a woman is not co tribute to anything of value to your life, why would you keep her around? You think you can change a young girl to have the attention span and desire to pay attention to you? Good luck.
[–]MistyMaisel 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
What do you wish she was doing when you're at her place that she's not?
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]MistyMaisel 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ok, lemme break this down for you as best I can see it:
You've been dating for 3 weeks. You guys don't have a relationship really. There's no foundation of romance, intimacy, or sensuality. You have to build that and then you have to maintain that.
There's no mood right now. You aren't taking her out to do anything sexy, fun, adventurous, exciting, or romantic. You're coming over to her house. It's a lot easier at the stage of dating you're at to have that mood once you've already had a good time together and then you go back to the house. Or have her to yours and set a romantic mood with candles, lighting, comfort, etc.
But if you're just going to the house, you've gotta get things going somehow. And it can't just be jumping right into cuddling, hugging, and kissing. She almost certainly feels awkward to just have this guy in her house that she barely knows. So she's doing what people do at their houses, phone, watch stuff, and chores to maintain life. And you're there expecting some sort of intimacy or climbing all over you. Makes no sense at all.
The reason she's more flirty and fun over the phone is because she's imagining a fantasy version of you that she wants. Not the real guy who's on her couch doing nothing except judging her home life. You gotta build that relationship if you want someone who is that instantly pleased you exist that you get hugs and kisses and shnuggles. You aren't at a point where you can just initiate that out of the blue and expect it to go well.
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just to clarify we’ve been out 2/3 times then gone back to hers and while we was out it was a similar vibe as well as back home. So maybe me/the event wasn’t that interesting issuing your breakdown. I also think I find it more difficult to find common ground maybe due to the age gap.
I guess I should do some digging into what she enjoys and pick that next as an activity to take the pressure off of me making it fun?
[–]MistyMaisel 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, hmm. Yeah, I was getting the impression it was just you going over to her place as the start of the time together. So the fact you're going out and the vibe is the same, that's much different.
That makes it more likely she's just not that into you. A pretty likely culprit is the age gap. I dunno what your goals are, but I think if you aren't the fun part of the date, that's not a good sign, ya know? Unless she's a really shy girl and then it might just mean she's uncomfortable and taking time to warm up to you.
Like, my fella planned exciting and fun stuff to do early on in our dating, but he was ALWAYS by far the best part and made it the most fun and was the most fun. So unless you're just looking to bang, I'd take this as a pretty big sign y'all aren't compatible.
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You might be right. I never really struggle with anyone else like it’s always effortless usually so it could be compatibility. But saying that I may not be the best judge a lot of dates I think went well doesn’t lead anywhere and a lot of dates I think went bad end up leading somewhere… not so much the case anymore but it still happens time to time.
The first time we went out was good but she was just making a story on her phone out of every thing which was annoying.
We went out to eat that was ok I suppose nothing great.
And the last time was a bar and she was bored and suggested we just go back to hers.
I think she does try like she’ll show me photos or funny stories on her phone maybe trying to make a convo so to be fair she does try some times. She definitely doesn’t seem shy on the first date she wouldn’t shut up.
Maybe I can’t try plan stuff she definitely enjoys and see how the vibes are to know for sure
[–]appbummer 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well written lol
[–]P7o7s7t7a7l 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I empathize with your problem. I've seen personality changes in women after moderate contact with them. It really seems like a different person, and it can be off-putting.
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If you're taking her out first, then going home where she turtles up then it just sounds like you're dating a dullard. Why are so into this girl, I'm confused what's she's doing to justify your interest.
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Just super hot to be honest and very accommodating and thoughtful to me. Like when she gets going it’s good she likes to please but the lead up is very awkward and stiff I think. Maybe she doesn’t think so though because she’ll message how happy she was when I was with her and when she can see me again and cook for me etc.
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I was guessing super hot or super freaky in bed. I mean, she sounds pleasant but boring. Keep it going but keep your options open. Maybe she needs time to get comfortable or maybe she's just a weirdo.
When I say super hot I mean I think I’ve peaked in what I can pull Hahahah. I don’t mind boring tbh I’m boring at heart but being single for the past year I’ve been teaching myself to go out of my comfort zone and be more fun and out going which was doing wonders for me. So as she’s not following my script I was doubting my self. Also I just remembered I think she did she she’s a home body and doesn’t have much hobbies but I didn’t really correlate that until you said.
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If she keeps banging you and texting enthusiastic, I think you're good. If you don't mind boring, continue doing what you're doing.
Usually shy guy who finally pushes himself falls into the trap of falling in love for the first hot chick they hook up with. The issue is that it's usually a crazy chick. Boring chick is good, haha. She also just might not have much relationship experience and might open up with time in the face to face department.
I think that might be the case her longest relationship was just over a year and that was 5years ago. I’m trying to keep contact dates to minimum and she’s initiating communication and dates and I’m still dating so hopefully I won’t fall too hard.
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[–]grindforthegold 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]modsRlameIRL 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]modsRlameIRL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MistyMaisel 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]MistyMaisel 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MistyMaisel 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]appbummer 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]P7o7s7t7a7l 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Various-Replacement 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link