The ol no connection

vardarac · 2022-05-25T18:10:56+00:00

She said when I took my invisalign out at the table she was a little grossed out.

Probably this, just go to the bathroom, wash it out and wrap it in paper towels. You have my sympathies if they're shitty low flow faucets, but still.

If you weren't making her laugh on the date, if you weren't spiking her emotions in a positive way, nor creating sexual tension, she's likely going to next you in search of someone who does. It might not be an entirely rational decision on her part if you can make her feel things over the phone or text, but such is the nature of dating.

Girls just wanna have fun.

TheNextBigCrash · 2022-05-25T18:13:13+00:00

1) you’ve put her on a pedestal for being attractive. You forgot she’s just a human being no different to you.

2) did you try and escalate during the date at all? Or just talked the whole time?

3) was it a “fun/casual” date? Or did you take her out for a meal (which is a bad 1st date idea)?

4) did you come across as nervous, anxious, or otherwise not confident during the date?

Attractive people are just people. Don’t treat them like they’re special, just treat them like a human being. Being born with good genes (and having the time to put on a fuck ton of makeup) doesn’t qualify people for special treatment. 1st dates should be getting to know people, seeing how you vibe, not anxiously trying to please them and gain their validation.

Codi_Banks · 2022-05-25T18:28:52+00:00

Probably too hot for me

Don't say that

I did ask for some feedback and asked about my photos.

Needy approval-seeking behavior

I was a little nervous on the date so wasnt as funny

Suppressing your self-expression out of fear of her reaction?

She said when I took my invisalign out at the table she was a little grossed out

Poor social awareness but I'm guessing you also reacted like you were embarrassed about it

So my only guess is, she is operating from a position of power in dating by being a smoke show. And only went on a date with me because I was borderline good enough for looks, but made her laugh. And once the laughter stopped I wasnt attractive enough. Sound about right?

You're placing way too much importance on her looks. What would she have if she didn't have looks? Many women, even pretty ones, are self-conscious of their appearance because they know a lot of their attractiveness is just from make up and fashion. Don't put her on a pedestal. Its like the saying goes, treat her like a celebrity and she'll treat you like a fan. You want to either treat her like an equal or even treat her like a little sister if you need to.

Im sure if you kept your playful joking attitude you could have maintained her attraction. Most likely, her attraction stopped not just because the laughs stopped but the REASON the laughs stopped. She could probably sense your insecurity. If you project the vibe that a girl is "too good" for you she will pick up on it and she will end up agreeing.

This short video will explain the different mindsets better

https://youtu.be/k64TG0bW-aM

timetobbetter · 2022-05-25T20:20:37+00:00

I was typing all this out but I didn’t know you had deleted the post… not sure if you can still see it. Anyways here’s my two cents…

You are right maybe you aren’t expecting points from it but why even mention it in the first place? Why not just say “I offered to drive; we drove over” if you’re nervous with a girl who is as attractive as you say she is, try to work on that. Dates are one way to do that but at the same time you aren’t doing yourself any favors because you are compromising potential relationships with women who are already attracted to you.

My advice (a random person on the internet) would be to go to a nice park. Just say “hi” to everyone. Fat, skinny, young, old, whatever. Then the next day go again, this time say “hey nice Shoes, glasses, shirt, dress” keep walking and don’t stop, KEEP WALKING. This way you don’t expect anything from the interaction.
Third day, same park, at this point you’ve become comfortable in the area. This time ask for directions, work in one of your compliments then thank them and leave (no number, no nothing) Final day, pull it all together. Say hi, Ask directions, compliment, ask for number. Remember, you may think this is stupid because why would you want to approach a bunch of people and not get a number. You don’t, you’re doing it for the repetition. Making it so your decisions are not so outcome dependent. You are saying what you want regardless of the outcome.

They don’t say hi back. So what.

They don’t give you directions. So what.

They don’t give you their number… SO WHAT.

You have successfully allowed yourself to be much more confident and you realize that no matter the outcome you are still alive, still healthy. Now when you go on the date, your actions will not be outcome dependent; should I say this or will it turn her off? Should I take my Invisalign out or will she think it’s gross. You mentioned you forgot they were even in… take them out, if she thinks it’s gross. Crack a joke, say something like “oh my profile didn’t say I had fake teeth? I chose to have them made of wood, some people say gold but I thought that’d be a little too flashy” smirks and holds eye contact something to change her way of telling her friends about the date the next day from “yeah he was gross he took out his Invisalign” to “he was funny, you won’t believe this he said he had fake teeth and I actually believed him”

Title	The ol no connection
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	21
Date	May 25, 2022 5:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uxn358/the_ol_no_connection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-ol-no-connection.1258706 https://theredarchive.com/post/1258706

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