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[–]Neo-Rio 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
OK. As a married man with lots of experience with women under my belt I am going to say this: My attitude to relationships is to AVOID THEM. Casual sex all the way!
Are you going to marry this girl? Do you have kids together? No? Then STOP pretending you are in a relationship with them. Don't let them think you are in a relationship with them. Don't go around together doing dating type things! You're only going to make her eventually angry to the point where she leaves anyway because you aren't going to marry her and she's not getting pregnant. That's why she's asking all the "what are we?" questions and accusing you of using her for sex.
You can actually flip that back on her and say that she's using you for sex, because it's equally true in service of her long-term agenda! Generally speaking: women who want to get married will often have sex with you on multiple occasions in an attempt to eventually get pregnant and "trap" you. If she's really evil about it, she'll have sex with some other guy, get pregnant, and say she went off the pill or the condom broke or something and the baby is yours!On the other hand, women who don't mind having your baby but getting someone else to raise it will enjoy one-night stands with you!
You need to understand, that relationships do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for men. You don't need one. Unless you show any intent of raising a family, you are supposed to be a man that fucks around. You do not want to put yourself in the frame of "provider". You don't need her emotional support. You are not going to be the one raising a baby! SHE IS THE ONE that needs a relationship and then IF AND ONLY IF she has a baby... BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO PROVIDE THE RELATIONSHIP! You can just provide the baby!
Tying yourself down to her - unecessarily - shows that you have no other sexual options. Only betas and cucks enjoy relationships. Does any man really want to get himself into a situation when he's reliving living with mummy again? Especially after having gained independence and freedom?
So why am I married? It's because I wanted to be a Dad. I control the relationship BECAUSE I don't need it! However, my wife and child benefit from me sticking around, and to ensure that my child does well, it makes sense that I assist my wife as well! My marriage only works because I am totally redpilled on this sacrifice I am making! And it's a sacrifice I don't mind making because being a Dad is more important to me in this stage of my life than the excessive amount of sex I had before getting to this point. I got that all out of my system (mostly!). I don't care if she divorces me and takes half my cash! My primary concern is my child, more than my wife! If she takes half the cash to raise our child herself, good luck to her!
Now, can you say all that about this girl you are seeing?
[–]hunterpua 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you're only holding on to her so much because you're not very confident that you'll find someone better.
I hoped that we could have dated more before becoming official so I could meet other women, but she felt I was using her for sex even though I spent all my weekends with her, took her on outings and cooked for her etc.
Also, this to me sounds like your chemistry as partners isn't as good as it needs to be to justify an exclusive relationship, because if it was she wouldn't have mis-read your intentions.
Don't be fooled into thinking that sexual chemistry is all you need to have a good relationship.
With all that it seems like all signs say you'll be better off still seeing other women but if you want her to be ok with that, you should also be ok letting her do the same thing.
You can't just fuck around and have her wait for you in the meantime. If you two are really right for each other, it won't matter who else you're fucking or who else she's fucking, eventually you two will realize you prefer each other.
But at the moment, it doesn't seem that you really have the perspective to tell who would be good for a relationship or not, because you've probably never been able to choose between multiple women at the same time so I think it's about time you change that.
Trust me, choosing someone out of many is much more likely to get you into an amazing relationship than just committing to the first fairly good girl you meet.
[–]Powerful_Package_827 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I think you're right on all your points.
And actually, we may not have great sexual chemistry. She mentioned not wanting to have sex every time we see each other. While sex is very important to me..
I don't think I can backpeddle out of the exclusivity now after bringing it up. We're supposed to talk more about it tomorrow.
I feel like the only way is..and I'm hesitant to say it.. is messing around anyways in the early stages. Then I could at least experience hookups a little bit, but then there's the risk of being caught.
It seems this girl will only accept exclusivity at this point. If I suggest no exclusivity after just talking to her about it she'll likely detach and fade out.
[–]hunterpua 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Then ending things altogether will be best. You don't want to be an asshole and cheat on her but you also don't want to just commit to someone you don't even work that well with just because you haven't had enough of her. That's just desperate.
And ultimately, one of the best ways to cure desperation is to show yourself that you can be with a lot of girls, even at the same time.
Trust me, letting go is hard now but if you actually do start getting involved with multiple girls eventually you'll look back and be glad you ended things with her.
The alternative is a toxic relationship that likely won't last anyway. I mean, you're already thinking of cheating before it even officially started and she really is not even close to relationship material, you just have desperation goggles on.
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“almost 1 month now, and it looks like we're becoming official”
“I hoped..”
“so I could meet other women”
“she felt I was using her for sex”
“I spent all my weekends with her, took her on outings and cooked for her etc”
“to be fair, I also proposed the official talk”
“I was anxious that she may be talking to other guys and it bothered me because I like her”
“I've never really had the chance to explore hooking-up with people”
“I'm afraid that I'll regret never playing around”
“I miss her when I think of not being together”
“I'd really miss her if I broke it off, and I like spending time together”
“The hell do I do?”
Pls stop raping our brain at least.. wayy too much overload of beta-weakness man. Every. Single. Move. And thoughts..
Be prepared to be dumped soon enough. So keep ur options open. Thats all I personally would advice u rn, in such a critical crap
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you’re not that into her.
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s obvious youre not ready for a relationship. Youll be doing a disservice to yourself and her if you date her.
You should date when youre ready. Does your post sound like youre ready?
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[–]Neo-Rio 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hunterpua 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Powerful_Package_827 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hunterpua 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link