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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you're getting friendzoned after the third date, I'd advise you to move on.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
agree .. OP if she isn’t interested in dating you 9 times outta 10 she won’t be interested in fucking you.
[–]catfish_milk[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Take the L, learn from it and move on. Never go past 3 dates and always try to escalate things.
[–]Surugo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Got it. May I ask why 3 dates?
[–]catfish_milk[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You can still achieve the “goal” on the 8th date but that’s too much time and effort wasted etc. All we have is time but we can’t make up for lost time. If she was really into you, it would’ve already happened. After the second date if nothing happened just invite her over your place for the third date.
[–]Surugo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow after 8 dates? Doesn't that seem a bit too late as well? This is assuming we're talking about sex. I've even heard of people having sex after the 4th date. The reason I never made a move was because there was a 1-2 week long intervals between each of our dates so I had the impression that some of the emotional connection was lost.
[–]SonOfSatan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No the reason you didn't is because you lack confidence, it doesn't matter how long it's been if you are there in person it only takes 1-3 hours for things to escalate to that point. You weren't forward enough and she lost interest. Move on.
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
i'd say always escalate ASAP if possible. aks for a kiss, ask her to come to your place, ask her to invite you to her place. if she says no then show her you are unfazed. show her you know it'll happen inevitably. handling rejection coolly can be a big turn-on. make her want to change her mind and then try again next time.
[–]Surugo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
That's pretty much what I did. When I did ask for a kiss, I was rejected. Would it have been better if I just went for it rather than asking?
[–]mightymite88 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
no, always ask for consent. but dont be afraid to try again next date. unless she's specifically expressed zero romantic interest. in which case you have to also be honest about your own intentions. maybe shes not worth being 'just friends ' with
i've def had women decline a kiss on date 1 and then slept with them on date 2. just maintain frame and confidence and keep playing the game.
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Asking to kiss is such a turn off and just shows youre a loser.
[–]mightymite88 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
sexual assault is such a turnoff and shows you're a loser
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I guess asking is necessary for those who are socially inept. I've never asked and never had a problem.
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
that's still assault.
and if you don't know how to ask in a way that turns her on then you have no game.
[–]5_7pickup -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
That's real ironic coming from you lol...
[–]mightymite880 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
stinging comeback, you proved me wrong about your lack of social skills with that one
[–]SonOfSatan0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I've never asked to kiss a girl, just look at her lips and her eyes back and forth slowly a few times, move in slowly and either she will reciprocate or back away. Constantly asking permission makes the interaction halted and jerky and is very unsexy, if she's into it it's obvious and just because you didn't literally ask "can I kiss you" doesn't make it sexual assault. I was actually having a conversation with a friend a while back and she literally brought up the fact that she doesn't like it when a guy asks her permission to do things and thinks it's a turn off because if the vibe's there it should be obvious and she wants him to take charge.
[–]mightymite881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
if you dont know how to ask in a way that makes her want to say yes then you have no game.
and your friend def needs to get her shit together. being assaulted is not a fun time. encouraging rape culture is weak shit
Man I'm out here living in the real world. If you're having a good time with a girl and you're flirting and you both start feeling hot and are slowly getting closer and start kissing, that's not 'rape culture' that's just nice, can you seriously say that there is something morally wrong about that scenario? I love women and I don't do anything with them if they're not comfortable with it, but as an extreme example if you had a girlfriend would you ask her permission every time you wanted to hug her? Of course not, in real life situations things happen between people organically and that's okay.
if shes really into it then asking doesnt hurt, but asking can prevent a lot of assaults. it just makes sense to always ask. even sometimes when someone emotionally might really want to kiss you, that doesnt mean they think its a good idea and are ready to consent.
Look man a lot of women I've been close to have been raped and sexually assaulted, I think what you're saying is frankly disgusting and it minimises the trauma of people who are victims of sexual abuse, I do everything in my power to make women feel safe and comfortable so if they're not interested they can turn me down and I've not had any complaints, and I don't think that my friend needs to 'get her shit together' she's a nice person and she knows what she likes, she just wants a guy to be forward with her and take the lead, there's nothing wrong with that and you are making things very black and white in a way that is potentially damaging to women who really suffer under the hands of evil men. Me asking women's permission to physically escalate wouldn't be "preventing a lot of assaults" because I don't fucking assault women and if they weren't interested I sure as shit wouldn't force it, that's pretty fucked up to say the least.
You're a jackass. Asking for consent prevents assault and rape. If you aren't asking for consent; you're a predator. Fuck off
Haha oh really? Then why are they always happy to meet up with me again? I'm not a predator, I just love women and sex and that's totally okay, I saw you made a post stating you're pretty sure you're asexual so I don't expect you to understand how arousal works.
Your friend got raped and you still dont ask for consent ? You're a shit friend and a shit person
[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol more like friends wjth no benefits.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s not how it works.
If you get friendzoned, it means she isn’t sexually attracted to you, meaning there is no gonna be friendship with benefits or a relationship or anything that involves sex.
Friends with benefits happens when she feels sexual attraction for you, and you are already making out or having sex and agree to keep things casual.
Friend with benefits isn’t a consolation prize when you get rejected or friendzoned lmfao.
It doesn’t matter how you ask for that, because the answer will be a NO.
You should have escalated and make things sexual date one, or seconds are at the very latest
[–]intensityuntilgoal -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Before taking the advice of just letting it go, invite her over and do something fun. Then make a move on her. If it dosen't work then, just drop it. You have nothing to lose at this point. If it works, then say something like "I love this thing we have together etc.." Don't be an idiot - and say let's be friends with benefits explicitly .
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
wait for the right opportunity, the same kind of situation when you'd normally escalate with a girl, and then just ask her. she might say no, but oh well.
[–]Surugo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I figured waiting for the right opportunity (like when we're alone and drinking) was the case. I guess my question was more about asking the question without it sounding awkward
[–]5_7pickup 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol bro its over. Youre in the friendzone with no benefits. You should have escalated on date 1. Just move on and try again with a different girl.
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
just handle it the same as any escalation. build attraction, build intimacy, ask for consent.
personally i am very cuddly with a lot of my friends, and i have several FWBs, and one thing that works for me is to escalate slowly from cuddling to perhaps a massage to sex. doesn't always work. some girls will be down for a massage and thats it, or cuddling and thats it, or nothing at all.
i don't know that there are any rules for escalating to FWBs specifically, but that works for me anyways. but i'd def say; make it an emotional decision for her, not a logical one. pathos, not logos. just like any seduction
[–]yobro_2521 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Friends with benefits sucks bro. Just move on from her and have an actual relationship with someone who likes you.
[–]Iistendipshit 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude..... You haven't made any moves and expect her to be fwb? It's almost like saying I haven't found a job but I'd like to buy a house. First of all, the only time you don't go for the kiss on the first date is if there really isn't any right moments and you barely know each other,.especially if she's shy. But the second date must end with a kiss. From that on you try to open her up about feelings, and rarely will a girl confess to you that she likes you more than you like her. Than you make yourself clear, and tell her you want some fun, are experimenting, etc. Then you can discuss being fwb. Move on and learn from your mistakes
Bruh you don't ask that shit is skeezy. Just clarify when you match with a girl that you're both interested in something casual and go out for a drink.
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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]catfish_milk[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]Surugo 0 points1 point2 points (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]catfish_milk[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]SonOfSatan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]Surugo 0 points1 point2 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightymite88 -1 points0 points1 point (14 children) | Copy Link
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[–]mightymite88 -1 points0 points1 point (12 children) | Copy Link
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[–]5_7pickup -1 points0 points1 point (9 children) | Copy Link
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[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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