[deleted by user]

TheRiverOfDyx · 2022-02-28T06:02:55+00:00

The mind doesn’t take jokes or sarcasm. Don’t ever say you can’t do something. It will take it literally and you’ll be stuck there. You can try, but there is no try. Do or Do not, there is no Try and there is no Can’t*

*barring exceptional circumstance like disability

Life finds a way, and you’re life. You not having confidence is actually natural if you have had difficulties finding a mate, rejection does that. It’s okay. It’s a part of natures, it happens to all animals - “defeated male leaves”

Go do something that makes you happy. You’re still young, I’m only 5 years younger than you, are you implying I’ll be old? Mate we have at least 50 years to go, we’re toddlers right now.

As for your looks, Guys age like wine, women age like milk - bit crude, but guys have to grow into their full beauty and women have it inherently and it fades if not prevented through lifestyle or surgery. If you look cute now you’ll be a hell of a distinguished looking man, you’ll just look good as a man. You won’t reach women’s beauty, few men can, but you’ll be a beautiful man.

There’s looks covered. I know a lot of people say “Looks matter”, they don’t for your face, you can’t change it, they do for other’s preferences. Everyone has their “type” they like. “Would smash, ehhh not my type, OOOO definitely my type”. Just dress in your best like your parents got you dripped out in what makes YOU look good, gain some Peacock confidence; it’s not cheating it’s a natural part of evolution. The clothes make the man, but his character is most important. Look fire, you can set and forget it in the morning, so prioritize building character. Build compassion for yourself, treat yourself with fairness, and go do something besides girls that would give you a confidence boost. Backflips on a trampoline if you’re athletic is a good one, it’s a big commitment to do a backflip, it’s a DEADLY fear to face. Way bigger than any fear a girl could draw out of you.

Go get some W’s and a Bag, for yourself. The bag is yours, go get it. Then you can maybe share it with someone, but you need some gold medals my guy. Forget girls for a bit, your biology will drag you back to girls when you’re ready and willing. You’re too afraid right now to will yourself, that’s not a bad thing. Tactical retreat. Regroup. Resupply. Redeploy.

Fall out

Fuuuuck this is cringe. How does Dave Goggins talk like that as a real life person? Maybe I am a different breed?! 😳

nikitodoggy · 2022-02-28T05:35:27+00:00

I understand you and it happens to me as well. I’m not cute at all, but I’m not that bad either; and reactions I get from girls are as if I was some kind of horrendous creature. Maybe if I comment the post can be seen by more people. What I don’t get Is why you can’t go to a bar? Is not mandatory to drink alcohol if you are there. Lots of people attend and they are sober.

throwaway6589799 · 2022-02-28T06:03:52+00:00

For achieving the important values that are necessary for you to flourish as a human being, I’d recommend moving to trying to date women who you’re currently attracted to who share your important values.

Whenever I am around an attractive girl I blank.

So when you’re around an attractive girl, you’d know what to do generally. The goal would be to have fun pursuing her and find out if she’s worth continuing to pursue by getting to know her, including introducing yourself to her and eventually seeing if she’s interested in your important values.

There was a girl next to me on the treadmill that was cute and I introduced myself and said Hi and asked her about what she was working on.

I just felt inside that she did not want to talk to me. My chest was beating so fucking fast and it was embarrassing. I dont know if she knew how anxious I was.

Maybe she didn’t. And if she still doesn’t after you’ve broken the ice, then you and her aren’t compatible, so move on.

The gym is the only place i go regularly where there are a lot of pretty women. I do not and cannot drink alcohol so I cant do bars.

You could orchestrate opportunities to meet women while pursuing your important values. If you like playing soccer for fun, find a mixed league to play soccer with or something and meet women there.

I really want sex but I don't want to hurt someone again.

You can move from really wanting sex with pretty women, to wanting sex with women who share important values and who are sufficiently physically attractive to you. And when you really understand that there are more important things to a woman than looks, then looks won’t matter as much in comparison though they’d still matter.

Where to start? I’d recommend https://courses.aynrand.org/works/the-objectivist-ethics/, for a better idea of what important values are necessary for you to flourish as a human being, and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson, for dating with that goal in mind.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-02-28T20:59:59+00:00

Women not liking you is not the reason you don't like yourself. You not liking yourself is the reason women don't like you.

norwegiandoggo · 2022-02-28T06:18:38+00:00

You are 27, and you've slept with 4 women..this is a very average number since the average number of sex partners people have in a lifetime last time I checked was 7, so it seems you are right on track for this. A whopping 50% of people are doing worse than you, and it seems your success trend is slowly climbing upwards. So my advice is to not be so hard on yourself and just keep on chipping away at it. You cannot control the outcome. You can only control the input to shift the odds in your favor. The first successes are the slowest and most difficult. It takes a lot of time to build momentum. But you have 4 successes with getting women into bed that you can learn from to build repeatable systems and gradually improve your success rate over time. Build that momentum and it will typically go faster and faster. A guy's looks typically doesn't really start to fade until he's 35, and even then his social status and career tends to improve giving him another 5-10 years or so at least of being considered attractive by large number of women. Especially you since you seem to care about your health and spend time in the gym. Your competition at your age will typically get fatter and less fit over time. Whereas if you stay fit and healthy your advantage over your peers will only grow.

Dodechaedron · 2022-02-28T07:03:02+00:00

When you approach, it is possible that you find that they didn't want to be approached; they legitimately have their own businesses to mind. Develop empathy and feel the other person's moods, it's a great asset in life, regardless of seduction.

Buchcape · 2022-02-28T12:10:37+00:00

Lol I remember when a woman was creepy towards me too. The breaking moment would be when she out of nowhere stroked my face with the back of her hand 😂

Jay-Ames · 2022-02-28T14:42:07+00:00

So, can you date a woman you are not attracted to? One you don't care about?

If you can, watch how you are with her. You are carefree and do or say anything you want to. Also you posses a part of attraction that is not talked about enough. Charm and charisma.

The reason is when you are free and not worried you show plenty of charm and charisma. But once you start to worry you lose that part.

Be edgy. Don't be afraid to lose her. Don't be afraid to offend her. There are plenty of women so if you can't get with this one there will be another. Women actually like that mindset. That is why you become successful with girls you don't care about

So she calls you creepy. What is that gonna matter? The sun won't shine anymore? You are restricted access to the country? Your family won't talk to you anymore? Or perhaps.......nothing bad will happen.

You know what could happen? 5 minutes after her calling you a creep the two of you agree upon dating because that is how crazy things can go.

So when you approach a woman do not show her how great a guy you are. You are there to see if she is a great girl. Let her proof herself to you. That is your mindset from now on.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-02-28T14:42:39+00:00

Said: “hi, what are you working on”

You can see that she is working on the treadmill, So she is wondering why are you asking questions you already know the answer to, so of course she is gonna look at you with a blank face.

“My chest was beating so hard.” Well you can use that to your advantage by openly expressing how she is making you feel.

“You know my heart is beating so fast and hard right now because of you? And i love it, because not every girl can make my heart so excited”

See? you have just differentiated yourself from all the other guys by openly expressing how she makes you feel, you also flirted with her, and you let her feel that your interest in her is genuine and like you don’t do this with other girls, which means you are far more likely to get her to like you.

“I just felt inside that she didn’t wanna talk to me”

If she doesn’t wanna talk, it’s not necessarily with you but in general.

Having said that, it depends on your approach if you manage to make her smile or laugh fast, then she can go from:

“i don’t wanna talk with anybody” to “I don’t mind talking with this guy that manage to put a smile on my face”.

However if you are boring, if you ask obvious questions to which you already know the answer to, if you don’t show any hint of personality that could actually differentiate you from a robot talking then yes it’s far more likely she will just prefer to avoid conversations in general.

And again, it’s nothing personal, it’s not that she is saying this person is beneath me and unworthy, it’s just that she is not connecting with you with whatever you said and as such she would rather continue to be doing what she is doing than forcing a connection that isn’t there.

Not connecting with a girl doesn’t mean you are unworthy, it only means you are not compatible, in other words there is no chemistry.

And you can’t really expect to be compatible and have chemistry with everyone. That’s impossible. And again not having chemistry doesn’t mean your worth as a dateable man is low, it’s just lack of compatibility.

I probably would not be compatible or have chemistry with your mother and that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any worth or that i don’t have any worth as dateable people. Just means we do have different ways of clicking with someone and that’s fine. There is no inferior person here, i can date others who i will click with and she can date your dad who she clicks with.

The problem is acting like dating is about confirming or refuting your own perception of your self-worth based on the external judgment that comes form girls.

Dating isn’t about that. When someone rejects you, they are not rejecting you as a person, or as if they were telling you that you are unworthy or undeserving of relationships and love.

What they are rejecting is the proposition because they just don’t feel the connection the chemistry the sexual tension required, due to lack of compatibility.

But it doesn’t mean the girl who rejects you is somehow dictating:

“Hey everyone, let it be known that this man does not get my approval because he isn’t worthy of being loved and of having a relationship, and as such, you should all take my judgment of his unworthiness as the ultimate truth and refuse to date him as well”.

That’s not really what goes on here, ok?

She is more like “sorry but i don’t feel it with you” and that’s fine… You don’t need to take insult for that, because people can’t really force themselves to feel something if it isn’t there, that’s just nature doing it’s work, not them specifically trying to make you feel inferior or unworthy.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	25
Date	February 28, 2022 5:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t37wkq/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1265720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1265720

Comments