[deleted by user]

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-02-19T20:04:15+00:00

I've had my heart broken badly twice with this year from women who I really liked, but who broke it off after a few weeks.

You have some unique circumstances in your life, but the core is the same as most every other rookie here:

You're way over-investing in women you've just met, probably because of a scarcity mentality.

Why is your heart even on the line after just a couple weeks? You literally know nothing about a person in such a short time span. It's just a blip on the radar. Those are girls you should barely even remember a year from now.

It's this weird "something is wrong here" vibe that I seem to have no control over.

It's inauthenticity. You're keeping a secret that you're ashamed of. Keeping a secret is hard, especially when two people are trying to get to know each other. You're constantly on edge and that's easy to sense.

The solution is to become comfortable with your body. Serenity prayer. Accept the things that you cannot change. Love yourself.

There are plenty of women out there that would be happy to have what you're bringing to the table. Stop hiding who you are. Hold your head up high and reject any woman that doesn't like your body as it is.

I'm at the point now I literally just feel like telling my dates right away

Truth-bombing can be just as off-putting as secrecy, so don't rush to force it into the conversation.

Your goal is to become comfortable discussing it whenever the topic of sex comes up naturally.

Suspicious_Fly133 · 2022-02-19T19:48:50+00:00

It sound like you need to stop being ashamed/worried about your ED. That seems to be where that “hiding something” vibe is coming from.

Try to have the best sex you can without caring about getting hard, make it lighthearted and fun and use ur hands, sex toys, eat her out, jerk off whatever. If the vibe is good she might ignore the ED problem.

Also if you keep seeing her try to improve the sex as much as u can, I guess you gotta get creative… I know you said viagra works sometime so maybe try your best with that

kscotty84 · 2022-02-19T20:07:14+00:00

Try Testosterone pills. Working out losing weight. And go 30 days without jerking off. Try whatever you can to reset tge body.

2022-02-19T22:23:48+00:00

Push for sex on the 1st date.

These girls are already attracted to you. They had free time to get together with you. She wants you to give her the orgasm she desires from you.

And it's YOUR role to shamelessly take it there. That's being a human.

About your ED, if you have struggle with it, just use your fingers and tongue, until she's cumming multiple times. You can tell them the issue you have and that you're working on it. The cool girls are going to stay. And the others won't. And you should be fine with that.

Thetruthisneeded · 2022-02-19T23:35:36+00:00

So many men would rather scam instead of leading with their truths.

I think that you should elude to it in your bio, you may catch a lot of women who can't have/don't want preventative sex.

"Just an fyi: I have ED but I still love intimacy, affection, and connection."

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-02-19T19:05:52+00:00

If I would have told that last woman, she probably would have been like "ohhhhhh that makes so much sense. I'm not scared of you anymore like I was."

Answered yourself.

NoDatabase1552 · 2022-02-20T06:32:15+00:00

You give too much credit to women's intuition. They're just overly sensitive. They're like dogs. They sense stuff and they get alarmed. It could be a burglar, a garbage truck, or distant thunder. They don't even stick around to find out.

You're filtering out the bad ones. That's not a bad thing.

You're nervous because you're concerned with pleasing them. You need a woman that's equally selfless and supportive. A lot of women are selfish.

Learn to live in the Now.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-02-19T21:22:38+00:00

I sense much fear in you.

sheepinb · 2022-02-20T02:06:14+00:00

What medication?

Travis_Varga · 2022-02-20T02:22:13+00:00

I’m sorry for the position you’re in, that sounds awful. I’m sure your doctor has told you about these, but just in case. I don’t know much about them besides that they exist. https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/penile-implants/about/pac-20384916

I feel like my problem goes well beyond words I say, or the way I behave.

I’m sure your view of your problem affects the way you behave, your body language, your tone of voice, your actions etc.

I'm at the point now I literally just feel like telling my dates right away that way they know what's up.

You could try that, I’m not sure if that’s your best bet. There might be women willing to look past that negative once they knew you well enough to know that your positives outweighed them, but wouldn’t be willing to look past it before getting to know you. How do you find women to pursue? Only through OLD? Are you pursuing women in areas of life where you could get to them platonically first, through your hobbies, careers and friendships? Not that I would recommend approaching them completely platonically, but it would allow you to take things slow I think.

If I would have told that last woman, she probably would have been like "ohhhhhh that makes so much sense. I'm not scared of you anymore like I was."

Yeah probably.

Are you confident that you’re worthy of a lover from the other aspects of yourself? Your career is the most important area of life for pursuing happiness, and subsequently to being worthy of a lover. How is your career going? Are you able to be happy without a romantic partner? Do you enjoy the initial dating process?

2022-02-20T04:54:49+00:00

LmAo dude you answered your own question. It’s definitely that. Just own it, drop them shame and they will trust you.

No_Inspection_7176 · 2022-02-20T10:39:40+00:00

It’s like the old proverb, worrying doesn’t take away tomorrows troubles. It takes away todays peace.

ED is a medical condition, it’s something you can’t help and sure it may be a dealbreaker to some women but lucky for you most women aren’t primarily driven by sex and if you’re upfront about it when you’ve known them for a bit I bet most of them would be moved that you’re honest enough and trust them enough to talk about it. Because of your condition one night stands may not be the right approach for you if it’s going to give you anxiety. Remember that intimacy isn’t just penetrative sex, there’s a whole lot of stuff that goes into it and even if you can’t get it up you can still have fun. One of my good friends husbands has ED and it drove him crazy at first to the point he alienated her but once he got over that and just relaxed a bit they had an even better sex life than before because they were forced to get creative and find other ways to be intimate than just fucking.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	13
Date	February 19, 2022 7:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/swh9ue/early_30s_with_erectile_dysfunction_very_unique/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1266381 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266381

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