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[–]Billyjeanisntmylover 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Set the date via text and forget about the call. What's 1-3 hrs (or less) of ur time for a date. If you're already doing something you enjoy it doesn't matter if the date went well or not.
[–]breh20221 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I call them to not waste time on a bad date. Ideally, we’d vibe and I figure out if I actually like them over the phone.
I’ve had bad dates in the past and it’s super easy to be fooled though text alone. So I’d rather screen first to make sure I don’t waste time and energy.
The post is moreso asking for advice on how to make these calls go smoother and more interesting.
[–]NineteenAD9 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Once you start taking dating apps too seriously, you're already psyching yourself out. You're nervous in part to seeking some validation and not wanting to disappoint.
If you're intent on phone convos before a date..relax, don't take it seriously, and set expectations low. Treat it as a regular conversation, loosen up, and inject some humor into it.
Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend a phone call unless you're setting up logistics or just touching base for a few minutes.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]NineteenAD9 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. If you're talking a lot more than she is, then you're the one auditioning and getting screened before the date. That contributes to being nervous.
Drive the conversation to where she's talking more about herself, and you're just directing traffic and teasing her a little for humor. It's a win-win, because you're showing genuine interest in getting to know her, while making her more curious about who you are.
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Don't talk too much with your dates before, you are not here to be her gossip friend :)
Also, the date is a meeting that you two get to know each other if you two are compatible, enjoy your time together and attract each other. Check if the energy is high enough to encourage you to continue such relation. You should enjoy your date even if you went there alone, and you should also check if she would be a good partner for more. People can behave so different in real world, digital communication is just for setting little tension and connection.
[–]breh2022 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Why would I go on a date with someone I have never spoken with? The purpose of the call is to screen to see if we can even talk to each other. It is very short less than 10 minutes.
And in some idealized world, yes, dates would just be as fun if you there by yourself. But that is entirely unrealistic, you are sharing time with another person.
[–]NineteenAD9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's understandable why you want to do it, but it's not necessary.
Anyone can have a good phone conversation while they're sitting on the couch from the comfort of their own home. You're not really learning that much about how both of you mesh together. I've had great phone conversations with women before dates and then there was zero chemistry in person.
The less you know about her before the first date, the better. It gives you a blank canvas to feel the conversation out in person.
[–]rhines57 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who is being screened in your eyes, you or them? I mean are you screening them to see if they vibe with you or are you screening yourself to see if you can vibe with them?
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[–]Billyjeanisntmylover 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]breh20221 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]NineteenAD9 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NineteenAD9 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]breh2022 [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NineteenAD9 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rhines57 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link