[deleted by user]

Woujo · 2022-01-24T20:53:51+00:00

my natural tendency is to try and be the nice guy in order to get the cookie, OR overcompensating and being overly blunt or curt, almost angry with the girl I'm talking to.

This sentence describes your issue, and it's good you figured out what your issue is. Instead of doing either of these things, stop worrying about what the other people in the interaction think about you and just focus on having fun. Are the others contributing to your fun? Great, they are in. If not, move on and find people who will contribute to your fun.

You need to find some friends, preferably some of whom are female.

ItIsICoachCal · 2022-01-24T21:06:52+00:00

Hey man I totally understand you. I'm almost 23 but I felt the same many times before.

Some things I suggest to try:

join clubs where lots of females attend (yoga, dance classes, cooking classes etc), those are much better places to meet girls than at a gym, and they're intended for people there to talk and be together unlike at the gym where many people go just for their workout and don't want to talk. Try to befriend girls too, you don't have to do pickup on them until you learned how to talk to girls and make them like you at least in a positive and friendly way. This way you build a social circle too and that's helpful because most quality girls don't want a loner
learn seduction/attraction. That is: how to flirt, tease, when to offer validation / disqualifying, push-pull, sexual tension, sexual jokes and when to use them, how to be assertive, confident etc. Here on r/seduction you'll find some useful tips but you need to diversify your knowledge base
find mentors from whom you can learn, I like these guys on YouTube: Dan Bacon, Todd V Dating and Austen Summers, but there are more guys out there helping you, and if you're broke and can't/don't want to buy their programs their free advice is still great. Books can be helpful too if they're quality (heard Models by Mark Manson is good though I haven't read it, combined with The way of the superior man by David Deida)
do approaches as often as you can, no matter how bad they go, and learn from them. It will build your confidence a lot and your social skills. Even just online approaches have helped me huge to turn from a shy guy to someone who can do sexting, since I'm doing hundreds of them over the years. And BE CONSISTENT or you'll lose your learnings
build a good online profile by hiring a professional photographer (or even an amateur who can take great pictures). This is only to give you social proof and validation when girls decide if they wanna talk to you or not. Even if you do cold approaches girls will still eventually see your social media profile and you want to make the best of your chances
find a purpose in life if you haven't already. Have goals, passions etc. And when you talk to girls about them, talk passionately about them, that helps to build attraction too. Remember: for girls/women it's more important the emotions you convey in your speech / body language than the words themselves. If you talk passionately, you'll appear charismatic. If you flirt by your body language with a subtle smirk (like George Clooney), you'll appear charismatic too. If you think you're frustrated that will come out and girls won't like you at all. They want to have fun, at least in the beginning.

5_7pickup · 2022-01-24T20:21:18+00:00

Hey man, so I was in a similar situation as you. Also 28yo now.

I had an avg sex/relationship life with avg quality girls until I started cold approaching. That was 5 months ago.

If you want improvements in your dating life, you need to market yourself. Either via OLD, social circle game, or cold approach.

Check out my field reports for my cold approach experience.

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-01-24T23:14:23+00:00

You are not late as long as you are rich, white and fit

originalgainster · 2022-01-24T22:26:31+00:00

don't worry, man. i'm also 28 and new to the game. 28 is not old.

H8beingmale · 2022-01-24T22:52:14+00:00

i didn't have sex until 28, that felt late sadly, since it seems common for people to lose their virginity between ages 16-18

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	14
Date	January 24, 2022 7:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sbu7wr/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1268358 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268358

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