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recyclablebanthas · 2021-08-03T00:59:48+00:00

1

I'm 17 and I'm trying to fix my social skills, so I literally approach any girls I find attractive and try to get their number.

Cold approaching can help you build confidence.

Social interactions can certainly give you an opportunity to improve social skills.

Repetition by itself may not help unless you already have a decent enough foundation. If you're not careful practice simply makes habit.

And if you don't already have decent enough social skills, then cold approaching can too often lead to social interactions which do not really help build your social skill foundation and also establish unhelpful habits.

2

Today I was going to deposit money into my bank account and this gorgeous girl was in front of me, a solid 10/10.

It's obviously fine to note that you found this girl extremely attractive.

Just realize that the 10-point scale is subjective and not everyone agrees where people should fall on it.

3

I knew she was way too old for me (around 22-25)....

Trying to pre-qualify people before you've even interacted with them can be extremely unhelpful. Our minds can often conjure plenty of reasons why someone might not be interested.

Some women might like to go younger. Perhaps not in this case, but there are others in that age range who wouldn't care that you're 17. Some older women might even find your age attractive.

4

After she was done and it was my turn to deposit my check, I calmly said "Hey, I was wondering if you had a boyfriend."

Sometimes practice makes habit, rather than perfect.

So it's important to consider what wasn't working here and to not repeat it. Otherwise the repetition will turn it into bad habit.

A.) You spent all that time in line behind her. You have plenty of time to observe other things in the situation.

The behavior of the tellers
The behavior of other people around you.
Even the girl herself. When she was wearing, things that she might have been doing, etc.

You didn't use any of that, even though it could have given you an advantage.

B.) Leading with a question about whether she has a boyfriend or not, has a number of disadvantages.

You're asking this question before you've really had a chance to interact with them. So any response you get is going to be colored by that, often in an unhelpful way.
The implication of this phrase for some people is that the other person is assuming they are at a point where this subject is immediately relevant. Which can come off as tone deaf.
If the girl has a boyfriend and doesn't want to cheat on him, then she will bring him up whether or not you ask about him.
If the girl doesn't have a boyfriend and isn't interested, then it won't matter that she's single.
And if she's interested, whether or not she is single, there will be certain tells that she's not single.

So asking her if she has a boyfriend is a waste of time with a lot of downsides

5

Imagine a dude out there who hasn't realized some technique he's doing is unhelpful. But he's determined to brute force his way to fixing his social skills through repeated cold approaches.

All cold approach is going to do is reinforce his bad habits.

This is why cold approach can be unhelpful, especially by itself.

6

If you really want to build your social skills, you need to find some regular social events to go to. There are plenty of groups out there organized around a variety of different interests. And they post public events to social media platforms like Facebook.

Join a couple of those on a regular basis and it will help your social skills in a more efficient way.

7

Not even a few seconds later a big ass white guy gets out of his truck from the parking lot.....

If that guy noticed what you were doing from the parking lot, then it was sloppy.

The more solid your game gets, the less obvious it will be to people.

8

I'm starting to think this little game I play everyday by approaching any girl I see is a bad idea for someone my age.

It's fine to socially interact with people. If you do so in a legitimately playful manner without being unintentionally creepy or awkward, there's nothing wrong with it.

But good observation goes with that. If you're going to be socially interacting with people it's going to flow more naturally if you're actually interacting with people on the basis of what's going on that very moment.

This can seem daunting but really it just means you are talking about what's right in front of you, which is technically pretty easy.

In the case of that girl at the bank, you could have made some off-hand comment about how many people are in there or how long the wait was taking. (Whether that long was short or long doesn't make a difference.)

9

It's whatever though, she still hit me with a friendly smile :))

A girl in that situation will often smile or even laugh in a friendly way in order to diffuse a potentially awkward or uncomfortable situation.

A lot of guys don't handle rejection well and can cause a scene or harass the woman after the approach goes sour.

2021-08-02T06:09:00+00:00

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2021-08-02T04:47:02+00:00

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2021-08-02T12:42:36+00:00

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CicadaProfessional76 · 2021-08-02T14:58:32+00:00

Cold approaching every attractive woman you see is pretty lame. Stop doing it. Especially when you can’t find an avenue to naturally strike up conversation first

2021-08-02T05:35:02+00:00

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CicadaProfessional76 · 2021-08-02T14:57:29+00:00

God imagine being the guy that gets aggro anytime somebody is interested in their girl.

2021-08-02T12:07:03+00:00

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TheSunshineMan · 2021-08-03T00:33:43+00:00

Great job OP - keep doing what you're doing - your opening line sucks though - read all the daygame / cold approach threads in this sub and the others, take notes, and implement.

I've cold approached thousands of women if you need anymore help.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	164
Comments	28
Date	August 2, 2021 4:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ow7lbt/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1279134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1279134

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